View Single Post
  #74  
Old July 18th, 2011, 05:41 AM
shuklabhramar5's Avatar
shuklabhramar5 shuklabhramar5 is offline
Shuklabhramar5
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: U.P.
Posts: 135
shuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond reputeshuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond reputeshuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond reputeshuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond reputeshuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond reputeshuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond reputeshuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond reputeshuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond reputeshuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond reputeshuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond reputeshuklabhramar5 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: “Naari”- Bhramar-Hindi kavita (Hindi poem).

Quote:
Originally Posted by tantric_yogi View Post
Shukla Sahib, namashkar. I enjoyed visiting your blog. I spent an hour admiring your poems. I noticed a photo of a motherly like good lady with young toddler on her lap. I wondered if two are related to you?

You must have thousands of admirers. You have to cater to them all. I hope you don't mind if I was to share some uninvited observations? I communicated with you in Hindi, I wish, problem is my Hindi is as bad as my English.

You must approach someone to help you un-clutter your blogs. Blog is so full of good stuff that visitors must be having difficult time going through everything. Your town will have hundreds of computer proficient ... many will help you gladly.

You are using this thread as a container to place all poems here. This is good. We do not have to search entire forum. Please write to moderators to edit or delete if you are not happy with any posts which derail your thread, including mine.

You are having problem posting hindi font poems at this site. Have you installed a new browser? Or have you downloaded some new software? Please try to recall changes to computer since last time you posted a poem at this site.

I am not a poet. I don't have your talent. Please disregard following observation if not worth your time. Your poems relates to real-life situations. That is great. If poems were like a train ... you want train to travel on a straight patri ... you will not want your train to go from Delhi to Mumbai via Calcutta. That will be an irritating diversion.

Last thing you would want for attention of your readers to get diverted midway through the poem. I am quoting one of your most enjoyable (so-far) poem down below. I am putting in red ink few lines which were not needed (in my opinion but you have to cater to thousands of readers) ... lines which unnecessarily diverted my attention away for main theme which is your brother, his family, you and your family, your ma and family situation.
Tantrik yogi ji I am very glad to notice that u hv visited my blog ..there are more blogs related to that ..there were several links ..i do not know whether u have visited to those also like..
BHRAMAR KI MADHURI
RAS RANG BHRAMR KA
BAAL JHAROKHA SATYAM KI DUNIYA
SHUKLABHRAMAR5.JAGRANJUNCTION.COM.
BHRAMAR IN ALLINDIAASSOCIATIONBLOG, JAUNPURBLOG,PURVANCHALBLOG..etc..
your suggestion about these lines ..which should not have been ..
bam bam bam bam bhole ..after drinking a drunkar speeks that..
other about childs ..due to him ..who are lying uncared ..no money so no schooling ..government schools are thr but ppl r not interested ...
as per my view this was reqd to show ..u r rt at ur place ..may be that hv been good..
I am having google chrome ...today no problem ..i v posted successfully....

I wanted from u all to give a link of my one blog at least ....if u could suggest bout this ..or can help ..
as u feel uneasy for Hindi I m in english ..so i think u hv understand all ...'
regarding derailment or giving bad remarks ...I am not so bothered as I have a lot of my good readers who understand well Bhramar.
Jai Hind ....
shukla Bhramar5
18.07.2011
__________________
‘दादी’ –‘माँ’ -सपने ना मुझको
सच की तू तावीज बंधा दे
हंसती रह तू दादी अम्मा
आँचल सर पर मेरे डाले
Reply With Quote