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Friday Special Tickle your funny bone...

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  #1  
Old August 5th, 2013, 07:00 AM
Reconnaissance Reconnaissance is offline
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Unhappy Painful Anticlimax

A group of 40-year-olds discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant; because the waiters and waitresses were good looking and had buff bodies.

10 years later, at age 50, the group once again discussed where to meet for dinner.
Finally, it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant; because the food was really good and there was a great selection of wines.

10 years later, at age 60, the group once again discussed where to meet for dinner.
Finally, it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant; because they could eat in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

10 years later, at age 70, the group once again discussed where to meet for dinner.
Finally, it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant; because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and it even had an elevator.

10 years later, at age 80, the group once again discussed where to meet for dinner.
Finally, it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant; because they had never been there before.
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  #2  
Old August 6th, 2013, 03:35 AM
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Re: Painful Anticlimax

How did they know they were 80?
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  #3  
Old August 14th, 2013, 06:24 AM
Reconnaissance Reconnaissance is offline
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Re: Painful Anticlimax

Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalthinker View Post
How did they know they were 80?
Where does the joke say that they knew their age?
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  #4  
Old August 19th, 2013, 06:45 AM
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Unhappy Re: Painful Anticlimax

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang. “What time do you open up in the morning?” he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.

The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. “Listen,” the owner shouted, “there’s no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn’t let a person in your condition get in…”

“I don’t want to get in,” the caller interjected. “I want to get out.”
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Old September 10th, 2013, 08:56 AM
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Unhappy Re: Painful Anticlimax

As the elderly man lay dying in his bed, death's agony was suddenly pushed aside as he smelled the aroma of his favorite homemade chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs.

Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with intense concentration, supported himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. In labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing wide-eyed into the kitchen.

There, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally HUNDREDS of his favorite chocolate chip cookies!

Was it heaven? Or, was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture, one hand on the edge of the table. The aged and withered hand quiveringly made its way to a cookie near the edge of the table; feeling the warm soft dough actually made the pain of his bones subside for a moment. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life.

What, then, was this sudden stinging that caused his hand to recoil?

He looked to see his wife, still holding the spatula she had just used to smack his hand.

"Stay out of those!" she said, "they're for the funeral."
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  #6  
Old September 11th, 2013, 06:43 AM
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Unhappy Re: Painful Anticlimax

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Old September 12th, 2013, 08:10 AM
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Unhappy Re: Painful Anticlimax

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