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Friday Special Tickle your funny bone...

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  #271  
Old March 24th, 2016, 02:16 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Joke for Today!

पत्नी---" ये वाला स्टील का गिलास लो"।
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पति---"नहीं, ज़रा और बड़ा गिलास लेंगे" !
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दुकानदार---"साहब जी, महिला दिवस भले ही चला गया है,लेकिन मैडम जो कह रही हैं, वही गिलास ले लीजिए ना"..!!!
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पति ---"अरे भैया तुम्हें बेचने की पड़ी है लेकिन इस छोटे से गिलास में मेरा हाथ घुसता नहीं है, मैं इसे माँजूगा कैसे ???




aries' bf- baby bhot bhukh lagi kuch aisa bana jo fatafat ban jae
aries- oki main baat ka batangad bnati hu





Girl gets caught by her dad with her bf at her home
Boy:uncle I love her.
Dad:hmm..Kitna kamaate ho?
Boy:nai uncle Main to roz aata hu.




rv- do you want to hear a joke about sodium

rohan - Na

rv- do u want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite

rohan- NaBro

Last edited by swami; December 16th, 2016 at 07:47 PM.
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  #272  
Old March 24th, 2016, 02:16 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Joke for Today!

Yeh Ladkiyan bhi ajeeb hoti hai....
Tyar hone ke liye Parlour jaati hai....
Aur ....
Parlour jaane ke liye bhi tyar hoti hai..





विजय आज भी ...
फेके हुए पैसे नहीं उठाता ...
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सीधे बैंक से लेके भाग जाता है......
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  #273  
Old March 26th, 2016, 05:12 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Joke for Today!

Breakups in China are worst, you see her face everywhere.


The radius of Wi-Fi is Limited...
But the radius of Wife-Eye is Unlimited...
Hope every1 had a safe Valentine Day!!!


What is Checkmate ?
You tell your Wife,
"I saw a lady,
looked exactly like you"
Wife asks,
"WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL..??"
You cant say 'NO'
You cant say 'YES'
That is Checkmate.!


Most of the men and women at the gym are working towards the same goal:
The perfect female body.


Thought of the day:
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble


In Delhi, people don't know which car to take out Today odd or even number
In Dubai, people don't know which wife to take out today.
In California, they don't know who's wife to take out today.

Last edited by swami; December 16th, 2016 at 07:47 PM.
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  #274  
Old March 26th, 2016, 05:15 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Joke for Today!

Men have opinions, women have advice.


When Big B was singing the National anthem , rekha was very impressed and stood up to approach him, seeing this big B sang the last lines very loudly
" Jaya hai jaya hai jaya hai"


If Vijay Mallya gets into film production..Kingfisher Productions (Films of Good Times) Presents:


1 Soda akbar
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2 Sab ne pila di thodi
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3 Rum de basanti
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4 Hum tight ho chuke sanam
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5 Beer zara
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6 Bevde zameen par
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7 Ek tha bagpiper
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8 Rum maaro rum
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9 Maine drink tujhko diya
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10 Daaru dance
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11 Pag liya toh chakhna kya
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12 Ulti kar di aapne

13. Kabhi whisky, Kabhi Rum

14. Brandy Rathore

15. 3 Drunkards

16. Ek thaa Kingfisher

17. Whisky Donor

Coming soon to a theater near you,....
If Vijay Maalya started making movies,..



HUMBLE REQUEST :
He has served us Beer when we were Sad & Happy
Now he needs our help
Please save Vijay Mallya,
Pls ADOPT atleast ONE Kingfisher Airhostess.

Last edited by Jagmohan; March 26th, 2016 at 05:26 PM.
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  #275  
Old March 26th, 2016, 05:18 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Joke for Today!

लोकसभा में स्मृति ईरानी के चंडी रूप ने सबसे ज्यादा मोदी और राहुल को अचंभित किया।
बाकी विवाहित लोग तो औरत का ये रूप रोज अपने घरों में देखते ही रहते हैं।



आज की नारी...
मैं एक बेटी हूँ..
मैं एक बहन हूँ..
मैं एक बीवी हूँ..
मैं एक मॉं भी हूँ....
लेकिन खबरदार जो किसी ने आंटी बोला तो..!!



“बारिश में चलना पसन्द है मुझे..
ताकि मेरे आंसू को कोई पहचान न सके.”:|:|:|
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.ऐसे शायरी वो लौंडे मारते हैं..
जो तालाब में नहाते वक़्त सु-सु भी कर देते हैं.



सावधान;
Whatsapp और Facebook का साईड इफेक्ट हो रहा है !
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कल एक आदमी
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अखबार में छपे फोटो को भी ऊंगलियो से zoom कर रहा था

Last edited by swami; December 16th, 2016 at 07:48 PM.
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  #276  
Old March 26th, 2016, 05:19 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Joke for Today!

...A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.


... The batteries were given out free of charge.


... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.


... A will is a dead giveaway.


... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.


... A boiled egg is hard to beat.


... Police were called to the daycare centre, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.


.. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.


... A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.


... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.


... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.


... When she saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye.


... Acupuncture is a job well done. That's the point of it.
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  #277  
Old March 26th, 2016, 05:21 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Joke for Today!

हमे जिस देश पर नाज है, आज में पूछना चाहता हूँ की ये देश इतना संवेदन हीन कैसे हो सकता हे
क्या यही हमारी संस्कृति हे
महीनो से एक अबला नारी गुहार लगा रही हे
मगर उसकी सुनने वाला कोई नहीं है
कहाँ है सारे महिला संगठन
कहाँ हें अवार्ड वापसी वाले आर्टिस्ट
क्या उन्हें इस मासूम की गुहार सुनाई नहीं देती
जबकि हर किसी ने फरियाद सुनी है
वो महीनो से कह रही हे
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Dj वाले बाबू.. मेरा गाना बजा दो ।



बाबा रामदेव ने कहा " ठण्ड से बचने के लिए आजवाइन पिए "
कुछ दर्शको ने ये समझा aaj wine पियें।



हम इंडियन्स से ज्यादा पानी किसीने भी
नहीं बचाया होगा..
अरे हमने तो मुहावरे तक में सिर्फ 'चुल्लू' भर पानी ही
खर्च किया था..!



दारू बनाने वाला कर्ज में है
दारू बनाने के लिए कर्ज देने वाले बैंक क़र्ज़ में हैं
और दारू पीने वाले भी कर्ज में है
तो पैसा गया कहाँ?



एक नई App आई है... एक घंटा मोबाइल नही छुओ तो, मोबाइल से आवाज आती है, "मालिक, जिन्दा हो या चल बसे।"



अगर दर्द भरी शायरी पेलने से लड़की मिलती तो
आज सबसे ज्यादा gf पंकज उधास और शब्बीर कुमार की
होती
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  #278  
Old March 26th, 2016, 05:30 PM
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swami swami is offline
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Re: Joke for Today!

Please use WhatsApp thread to post WhatsApp forwards
Thanking you
__________________
There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.
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  #279  
Old March 29th, 2016, 06:17 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Joke for Today!

I don't know where this material will fit, hence putting it, here.

Facebook wall: Reactions to Narendra Modiís suggestion to popularise Football during Mann Ki Baat

http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/...-mann-ki-baat/


Australian Player

https://www.facebook.com/fanollywood...3180149966564/
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  #280  
Old April 9th, 2016, 09:04 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Joke for Today!

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  #281  
Old December 16th, 2016, 01:17 PM
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Re: Joke for Today!

मोदी:-
'पेशाब के बाद साबुन से हाथ जरूर धोना चाहिए'.

दिग्विजय सिंह :-
मैंने तो आज तक नहीं धोये, यह आरएसएस की चाल है आरएसएस अपनी विचारधारा को थोपना चाहता है .

अकबरुदीन ओवेसी:-
मोदी में हिम्मत है तो हैदराबाद आ कर हाथ धो कर दिखाए ।

सोनिया गांधी :-
गरीब विरोधी सरकार है, जिस के पास साबुन नहीं वो कैसे हाथ धोएगा साबुन से , इस्तीफ़ा इस्तीफ़ा , संसद नहीं चलने देंगे.

लालू :-
कैसे मोदी जबरदस्ती से तानाशाह हो गए हैं , हमारी मर्जी , हम धोएंगे नहीं चाटेंगे।

मायावती:-
साबुन से हाथ धोने से कीटाणु मर जाते हैं, झारखण्ड में आदिवासी लोग कीटाणुओं को देवता मानते हैं , ये मनुवादी सरकार है दलितों का अपमान नहीं सहेंगे ।

मीडिया:-
पेशाब के बाद हाथ धोना क्यों जरूरी है? क्या यही लोकतंत्र है? शाम 6 बजे देखिये बड़ी बहस "सवाल धोने का नहीं पर हाथ पर पेशाब ही क्यों करें?"

नितीश कुमार :-
यह लोकतंत्र पर हमला है , लोगो पर छोड़ देना चाहिए की वो हाथ धोएं या नहीं , हम बिहार में हाथ नहीं धोने वालों को 30 % आरक्षण देंगे .

राहुल गांधी:-
मोदी जी हाथ धोने ही नहीं देते

दुकानदार मोदी से:-
साहिब ये बवाल क्यों हो रहा है?

मोदी :-
एक Handwash दे यार, इनका रोज का ड्रामा है.
__________________
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