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Friday Special Tickle your funny bone...

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  #46  
Old April 27th, 2016, 10:41 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

एक हरियाणवी रेड लाइट क्रॉस करता पकड लिया....
Police Man: क्यू तने लाल बत्ती ना दिखी के ??
हरियाणवी :- बत्ती तो दिखी थी पर तू ना दिखा, कित लुक रय्हा था ❓
������������
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Last edited by sarv_shaktimaan; April 29th, 2016 at 06:41 PM.
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  #47  
Old April 29th, 2016, 06:40 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

हरियाणा रोडवेज की बस में लिखा था
किसी भी अनजान व्यक्ति से कोई चीज ना ले
फेर के था

मनैं तो फेर टिकट भी ना ली
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  #48  
Old April 30th, 2016, 09:05 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

^^
Lol. Reminds me of a sign -"Sharir ka koi ang bahar na nikale" on Haryana Roadways. Now, the same saying was in graffiti on some toilets too:-)
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  #49  
Old May 12th, 2016, 11:58 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Prolly some old jokes.. one or 2 may be new.

हरियाणवी आदमी जवाब उल्टे नही देता... लोग सवाल उल्टे करते हैं। नहीं यकीन आता, तो पढ़िए मस्त जोक -->

-----------------------------------
जज: तू तीसरी बार अदालत आया है, तने शर्म कोनी आती?

आदमी: तू तो रोज़ आवे है, तने तो डूब के मर जाना चाहिए ।
-----------------------------------
ग्राहक: थारी भैंस की एक आंख तो खराब सै, फेर भी तू इसके 25 हज़ार रुपये मांगन लाग्र्या सै?

आदमी: तन्नै भैंस दूध खात्तर चाहिए या नैन-मटक्का करन खात्तर..?????
-----------------------------------
हज़्ज़ाम: ताऊ, बाल छोटे करने है के...?

ताऊ: बड़े कर सके है के !!
-----------------------------------
ताऊ मास्टर से -" मेरा छोरा पढाई मै कैसा सै ?"

मास्टर -"चौधरी यू समझ ले,......आर्यभट्ट ने जीरो की खोज इसके खातिर ही करी थी ।"
-----------------------------------
टीचर: तुम्हें पता है हमारे पूर्वज बन्दर थे।

जाट: थारे होंगे, महारे तो चौधरी थे।?
--------------------------
जाट...... दिल्ली चला गया
रेलवे स्टेशन पै अखबार वाले से bola
एक अखबार देना...
.
.
अखबार वाला-हिन्दी या अंग्रेजी ka
.
.जाट ..... भाई कोईसा दे दे
मने तो रोटी लपेटनी है|
---------------------------
पत्नी हरियाणा पुलिस से- जी म्हारा
घरवाला 5 दिन पेहला गोभी लेन
गया था इब तक कोणी आया

हरियाणा पुलिस- फेर के होया,
कोई और सब्जी बना ले, जरुरी है
गोभी बनानी
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  #50  
Old May 20th, 2016, 02:35 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

हरियाना मे गांव के लङके का IAS मे selection हो गया
Dj बज रहा था
मिठाईयाँ बंट रही थी
लोग बधाईयाँ दे रहे थे
इसी बीच दो ताउ आपस में बात कर रहे थे कि -------
----------

थोङा और पढ लेता तो पटवारी बन जाता।

Last edited by sarv_shaktimaan; July 6th, 2016 at 09:25 PM.
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  #51  
Old May 20th, 2016, 03:44 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

^^
Reminds me one one guy was telling about a Bihari Doc.
He did MD and then a DM, when someone told him " Achcha hua DM ban Gaye"
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  #52  
Old May 20th, 2016, 05:23 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgars View Post
^^
Reminds me one one guy was telling about a Bihari Doc.
He did MD and then a DM, when someone told him " Achcha hua DM ban Gaye"
I was told that in Bihar nobody with a PhD writes Dr. in their name plate or people request for medical treatment. One may explain that they have not studied medical science, but they question why you wrote Doctor then?
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  #53  
Old July 5th, 2016, 08:53 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

टीचर : “बहुत तेज़ हवाओं के साथ बारिश हो रही है|”

इसका भविष्य काल बताओ...

पंजाबी : हुण लाइट जाऊगी ।
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  #54  
Old July 5th, 2016, 08:57 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

जाटों की लुगाइयों को अंग्रेजी सिखाने मास्टरनी आई |

चूँकि A फॉर Apple और B फॉर Boy समझाना आसान न था, तो मास्टरनी नें नया तरीका निकाला |

A फॉर अमरपाल की बहु
B फॉर बलवंत की बहु
-
-
O फॉर ओंकार चंद की बहु
-
-
Z फॉर ज़मींदार की बहु

अच्छी तरह रटवाया गया और फिर हुआ टेस्ट.

प्रश्न था 'Q' फॉर ?......

ताई कंफ्यूज हो गी ,

बोली - दिखे तो ओंकार चंद की बहु है, पर मुँह में बीड़ी क्यों डाल रखी है |
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  #55  
Old July 16th, 2016, 06:40 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

एक सच्चा हरियाणवी जिम नहीं जाता, सिर्फ जीमने जाता है
और
हरियाणवी का ब्लड ग्रुप होता है - घी पॉजिटिव.

हरियाणवी लोग बीमारी ठीक होने का श्रेय Dr को नहीं रुपयों को देते है
.
.
तीन हजार रपिये लाग्ये, तब जाकै ठीक होया ।
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  #56  
Old July 18th, 2016, 12:15 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

मैडम--जब कोई वस्तु ऊपर
फैंकी जाती है ,
तो
वह वापिस नीचे क्यों आ
गिरती है ??
.
.
हरियाणवी छात्र -- तो
ऊपर पकडै कौण ??
तेरा फूफा !!!
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Last edited by sarv_shaktimaan; July 18th, 2016 at 12:29 PM.
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  #57  
Old July 31st, 2016, 08:39 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

ताऊ और ताई की लड़ाई होगी ..
दो दिन हो लिए बिना बोले...

ताऊ- तु मेरे तै बिना बोले क्युकर रह ले है...
ताई - फेर तु मनाता कयुं नहीं.

ताऊ - मनाण नै तु दिवाली है...
फेर लड़ाई शुरु...
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  #58  
Old August 9th, 2016, 12:09 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

हमने इतनी स्पीड की ट्रेन चला दी जो दिल्ली से आगरा दो सौ किलीमीटर 1 घण्टे में पहुँच जाएगी।
हरियाणा रोडवेज का ड्राईवर बोल्या : रे क्यों घणी फेंके है, सड़क खाली करा, बस ने रेल ते पहल्यां आगरा ना ले जाऊँ ते मन्ने कहिये !!!
सुरक्षित और तेज -- हरियाणा रोडवेज

एक यू.पी वाला मेरे तै बोल्या :- भाई आप हरियाणा के इतने बदमाश और लड़ाकू क्यू होवो सो
मै बोल्या :- भाई भगवान श्री कृष्ण ने यू.पी मै तो बाँसुरी बजाई और म्हारे हरियाणा के करूक्षेत्र में जूत

Last edited by sarv_shaktimaan; August 9th, 2016 at 12:14 PM.
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  #59  
Old August 9th, 2016, 12:43 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan View Post
हमने इतनी स्पीड की ट्रेन चला दी जो दिल्ली से आगरा दो सौ किलीमीटर 1 घण्टे में पहुँच जाएगी।
हरियाणा रोडवेज का ड्राईवर बोल्या : रे क्यों घणी फेंके है, सड़क खाली करा, बस ने रेल ते पहल्यां आगरा ना ले जाऊँ ते मन्ने कहिये !!!
सुरक्षित और तेज -- हरियाणा रोडवेज
जूत
LoL. We used to have a Hindi chapter 'Banarasi Ekka' by Bedhab Banarasi. One exercise was to write a similar essay and i wrote one on Haryana Roadways including a line that those who want to drive faster should learn from a haryana roadways driver.
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  #60  
Old August 9th, 2016, 01:34 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgars View Post
LoL. We used to have a Hindi chapter 'Banarasi Ekka' by Bedhab Banarasi. One exercise was to write a similar essay and i wrote one on Haryana Roadways including a line that those who want to drive faster should learn from a haryana roadways driver.
Sounds like Haryana Roadways is famous for high speed I wasn't aware.
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