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Philosophy To be or not to be...

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  #1  
Old July 4th, 2009, 12:56 PM
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Love is selfish - what do you say?

I was watching some TV show on one of the cable channels. Just before I switched channels, as the show was boring and I had seen only 3 minutes or so of it while channel surfing, one of the characters says to the effect that - 'Love is selfish. Every relation, every love is selfish. We all love for our personal gratification. We are selfish'

Now I did not think much about it and forgot about it for quite some time, but today, just thought of posting this.
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  #2  
Old July 4th, 2009, 01:06 PM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

If its not selfish then there wont be love.

Wife loves husband for security in everything
Husband loves wife for keeping the home
Children loves the parents for emotional boundage
Parents love children so that they become something and fulfil their aim

Love is always because of........
Quote:
Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
I was watching some TV show on one of the cable channels. Just before I switched channels, as the show was boring and I had seen only 3 minutes or so of it while channel surfing, one of the characters says to the effect that - 'Love is selfish. Every relation, every love is selfish. We all love for our personal gratification. We are selfish'

Now I did not think much about it and forgot about it for quite some time, but today, just thought of posting this.
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  #3  
Old July 5th, 2009, 12:38 AM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

alndya bhai, aapka thoda opinion ho jaye.. You just became a father. So you have one new love in your life. What do you think? Do you love selflessly? Please dont get offended and I did not mean to be personal, but just wanted to ask you because sometimes I think that - Okay our parents loved us because they got love back from us. So in a way they loved in exchange for our love. Then again I think parents did not love us in exchange for anything.

I dont know. For me love is just love. I have never thought too much about what this Tv character said about love.
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  #4  
Old July 5th, 2009, 12:46 AM
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Post Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

I Think Swami is right.

Every relationship is selfish but its just less or more but its selfish.(1%-100%)
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Old July 6th, 2009, 07:53 AM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

Looking at cha bhai post, I almost wanted to say the same as swami bhai said, but I remembered a story shown on cnn-ibn sometime back, may be about 3-6 months back. I dont remember the exact story, its something like this.....boy girl love....not yet married.....suddenly girl has an some accident or some disease and is paralyzed for life....can't talk...totally bedridden....all seva to her on bed only.....boy is now taking care of her....and has said, that he will take care of her till his death..... They are probably around 20-25....

in this case, he is free totally to walk off.... and be selfish.
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Old July 6th, 2009, 09:29 AM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by echarcha View Post
alndya bhai, aapka thoda opinion ho jaye.. You just became a father. So you have one new love in your life. What do you think? Do you love selflessly? Please dont get offended and I did not mean to be personal, but just wanted to ask you because sometimes I think that - Okay our parents loved us because they got love back from us. So in a way they loved in exchange for our love. Then again I think parents did not love us in exchange for anything.

I dont know. For me love is just love. I have never thought too much about what this Tv character said about love.
Landya had mentioned somewhere that He worries about how he is going to raise his son. how will he instill values when he himself is confused about what is right and what is wrong . So I should assume that he needs all the support and good will that he can get ....
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Old July 6th, 2009, 10:12 AM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

Some loves are not selfish. Like a mother-child relationship (I am generalizing here).
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Old July 6th, 2009, 10:18 AM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

Disagree --

I love my parents, wife and children without any expectation of 'returns'. If you put stipulations such as I will love you only if you cook butter chicken for me..then it is selfish and a bit ridiculous. Cannot even call it love.
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Old July 6th, 2009, 11:55 AM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

Not just love .. all emotions are selfish. Unless you have figured out a way to directly access someone else's brain.

Everything you do, you do for your "self". Even sacrificing your life .. you do it because you believe it to be the right thing to do. So you are doing it to please your own sense of what is right.

The only way to not be selfish is to not use your brain at all. Be a robot commanded by someone else for no reason or gain with zero brain function. Or maybe extreme schizophreniacs could lay claim to being unselfish.

@ Rakhi
Even mother child love is selfish. Loving your own child?? Come one. How is that anything if not selfish. Your OWN child? Think about it!
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Old July 6th, 2009, 11:56 AM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by smellyfinger View Post
Not just love .. all emotions are selfish. Unless you have figured out a way to directly access someone else's brain.

Everything you do, you do for your "self". Even sacrificing your life .. you do it because you believe it to be the right thing to do. So you are doing it to please your own sense of what is right.

The only way to not be selfish is to not use your brain at all. Be a robot commanded by someone else for no reason or gain with zero brain function. Or maybe extreme schizophreniacs could lay claim to being unselfish.

@ Rakhi
Even mother child love is selfish. Loving your own child?? Come one. How is that anything if not selfish. Your OWN child? Think about it!
smelly, now you are peeling the onion - layer by layer
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Old July 6th, 2009, 12:18 PM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by smellyfinger View Post
Not just love .. all emotions are selfish. Unless you have figured out a way to directly access someone else's brain.

Everything you do, you do for your "self". Even sacrificing your life .. you do it because you believe it to be the right thing to do. So you are doing it to please your own sense of what is right.

The only way to not be selfish is to not use your brain at all. Be a robot commanded by someone else for no reason or gain with zero brain function. Or maybe extreme schizophreniacs could lay claim to being unselfish.

@ Rakhi
Even mother child love is selfish. Loving your own child?? Come one. How is that anything if not selfish. Your OWN child? Think about it!
good one..... here is a line from a movie I watched some days ago...

"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts. "
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Old July 6th, 2009, 12:23 PM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by smellyfinger View Post

@ Rakhi
Even mother child love is selfish. Loving your own child?? Come one. How is that anything if not selfish. Your OWN child? Think about it!
I didn't understand. Are you saying in terms that, had it not been my child, I would have loved him/her less? If yes, then yes it is selfish.

What I meant to say is that when you take the love between a mother and a child (just between those two, not including anyone else..at least from the mother's side), then it need not always be selfish.
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Old July 6th, 2009, 12:40 PM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakhi View Post
I didn't understand. Are you saying in terms that, had it not been my child, I would have loved him/her less? If yes, then yes it is selfish.

What I meant to say is that when you take the love between a mother and a child (just between those two, not including anyone else..at least from the mother's side), then it need not always be selfish.
I will say all relationships are selfish apart from mom-child. And that too from moms side.
Having said this, I will add that these days moms are becoming more practical (nothing wrong in it) and in becoming so, the love becomes selfish. Now if a mother wants her child to come first in class or graduate with so so percentage, then these are stipulations. At some deep down level, she is thinking of boasting it in front of her friends, so that is when love becomes selfish.
But mom is the only person who will stand and support even if the child does not attend IIT or go to USA. So i say mom-child love from moms side is selfish.
All other relations are selfish without any doubts
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Old July 6th, 2009, 01:34 PM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakhi View Post
I didn't understand. Are you saying in terms that, had it not been my child, I would have loved him/her less? If yes, then yes it is selfish.

What I meant to say is that when you take the love between a mother and a child (just between those two, not including anyone else..at least from the mother's side), then it need not always be selfish.

Mom's love for her child is the most selfish love in the world. How can you love a "thing" you have known less than 5 minutes? How can you love a "thing" that cant talk, cant walk, cant understand you, cant debate with you, cant do anything except suck on your teats, throw up your own lacto-secretion over your shoulder and defecate at will. The only reason a mother loves her child - the only reason - is because it is HER child.
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Old July 6th, 2009, 01:45 PM
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Re: Love is selfish - what do you say?

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Originally Posted by smellyfinger View Post
Mom's love for her child is the most selfish love in the world. How can you love a "thing" you have known less than 5 minutes? How can you love a "thing" that cant talk, cant walk, cant understand you, cant debate with you, cant do anything except suck on your teats, throw up your own lacto-secretion over your shoulder and defecate at will. The only reason a mother loves her child - the only reason - is because it is HER child.

Known for less than 5 minutes? When a woman conceives, she has the baby in her womb for full 9 months (I know that you know this, but I felt the need to mention anyway). It’s a bond (and the purity of which) cannot be matched with any other form of love. The baby is a part of the mother. The mother loves the baby even if it cannot understand her…it is enough that the mother can understand the baby. Like I said, I am talking about the relationship and love between just the two of them….not comparing her own child with someone else’s.

Their love is soo….maybe you will not understand. You have to be a woman to know how it feels like I guess.
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