Friday Special - Ultimate PJ for the entire week

[Alibaba]

Originally Posted by 28virgo

Yeh ek aur khatarnaak PJ!!

Ants

An ant knocks the door of a house. House owner opens the door. "I want a place to stay", said the ant . "I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost", said the owner. Ant went inside and occupied that vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner "Can you please allow this ant to stay along with me". "Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent" said the owner.

After some days the ant brought one more ant and requested the owner to allow that ant to stay with it. Owner agreed to it without asking for any rent. This continued i.e ant brings in one more ant and owner agrees for it.


On one fine day, the ant brought in tenth ant and requested the owner to allow that tenth ant also to stay with it. The owner said "Ok, you all can stay here but you need to pay rent".


Now the question is Why did the owner ask for rent when the tenth ant came in ? Why not from the first ant ?


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Because they are now Tenants (Ten ants) !!

Tere maa ki... My God.. seriously Khatarnaak pj tha boss..!!

Bahot bhaari.. samajh mein nahi aa raha hai ab kya karu.. pankhe se latku ya rat poison khaa lu..!!

[rationalthinker]

There was this Sardarjee from Jallundhar who comes to Delhi to work in a call center. Once,while walking thru the crowded streets of Paharganj,a street dog starts chasing him--so he gives that dog a big kick and the dog gets flung into the air and lands,stunned, on his back. Immediately,the Sardarjee rushes to him and devoutly touches his hind legs and then touches his (own) fore head.Then the poor dog gets up and starts limping away--so the Sardarjee again gives him a solid kick, sending him again flying into the air.Again the stunned dog lands on his back and again the Sardarjee devoutly touches his hind legs and then touches his (own) fore head.Again the poor dog gets up and again the sequence is repeated.
A curious onlooker can't stand it anymore and asks the Sardarjee why he did what he did----so the Sardarjee told him:When that bloody dog chased him he kicked him,but when the dog landed on his back he was 'ulta' and the 'ulta' of dog is 'God'--so he touched his holy hind legs!

[dawizard]

wow that was really a solid PJ!!! Good job!

[sarv_shaktimaan]

Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of
light.
On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.


Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'
Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'
Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??
Gulshan: No it is Grocer.


Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...


ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C
_________________________________________________________________

Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by
Chennai???

Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip
means chen..nai...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A tamilian and a sardarji sittin together in a train.
Tamilian is bored
and
wants to talk, he asks sardar "tamil terima?"

Sardar is offended and hits back "punjab tera baap".

[sarv_shaktimaan]

A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a
nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he
noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than
his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son,
"The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The
boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean
but returns to tell his mother that many of the men
have larger "units" than his dad. His mother replied,
"The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again
satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the
ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again.
He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the
dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks,
the dumber he gets."

[echarcha]

Originally Posted by rationalthinker

There was this Sardarjee from Jallundhar who comes to Delhi to work in a call center. Once,while walking thru the crowded streets of Paharganj,a street dog starts chasing him--so he gives that dog a big kick and the dog gets flung into the air and lands,stunned, on his back. Immediately,the Sardarjee rushes to him and devoutly touches his hind legs and then touches his (own) fore head.Then the poor dog gets up and starts limping away--so the Sardarjee again gives him a solid kick, sending him again flying into the air.Again the stunned dog lands on his back and again the Sardarjee devoutly touches his hind legs and then touches his (own) fore head.Again the poor dog gets up and again the sequence is repeated.
A curious onlooker can't stand it anymore and asks the Sardarjee why he did what he did----so the Sardarjee told him:When that bloody dog chased him he kicked him,but when the dog landed on his back he was 'ulta' and the 'ulta' of dog is 'God'--so he touched his holy hind legs!

You made me spill the hot coffee I was sipping

[des_pardes]

Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan

A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a
nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he
noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than
his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son,
"The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The
boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean
but returns to tell his mother that many of the men
have larger "units" than his dad. His mother replied,
"The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again
satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the
ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again.
He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the
dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks,
the dumber he gets."

Sarv pai it's good one. Moreover how dumb r u?

[lawgirl707]

i could go on an on with lawyer jokes - but i'll reserve some for tomorrow evening to entertain my fellow echarchans. for now here's one:

A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared.

"For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the genie. "But there's a catch," the genie continued. "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive double what you asked for."

First, the man wished for a Ferrari. POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of him. "Now, every lawyer in the world has been given two Ferraris," said the genie. "What is your next wish?"

"I could really use a million dollars." replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet. "Now, every lawyer in the world is two million dollars richer," the genie reminded the man, and then asked him for his third wish.

The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney..."

[28virgo]

Raavan ko ek din aapni galti ka ehsaas hota hai. He felt that he had really done a lot of bad things which affected Ram's life, so he should apologise to Ram. He went to Ram's house and knocked on the door.
Ram opened the door and was surprised to find Raavan!!
Raavan also kept staring and thinking.... but didn't say a word.

Can u guess what was Ravan thinking??????????


SCROLL DOWN







Further down
























He was thinking: Kis mooh se maafi maangoon...?!!!

[YedaAnna]

The doggie wala was too good!

[28virgo]

The Magic of Math

Think of a number (BETWEEN 3 and 999).





Multiply it by 3.







Now add 5 to the result.









Take away the number you first thought of.
















Now add 7.














Subtract 2.













Add back the number you first thought of.





















Now, close your eyes .








































Dark , isn't it?

[dee_xlnc]

Originally Posted by prosedevi

BRILLIANT WAYS GIRLS TURN GUYS DOWN!!



HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!

SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like

yours!!

HE: That's Great ! After dejected by so many faces finally you chose me!



HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?

SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: Oh great... so you wanna take the pleasure of asking me for this dance!



HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?

SHE: I must have been given your share!!!

HE: Yes GOD Gave you my leftovers !!! I SAVED you from becoming UGLY.



HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?

SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: OH thats a good way of saying "Instead of going out, can you come to my apartment this weekend"



HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!

SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: OK. As soon I am done i will get "IT" out of you !



HE: I think I could make you very happy

SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: Yes Leaving to grab a condom. I know this made you very happy


HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?

SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: I know honey you never thought I would ask this to you. So since you can't beleive it to be true, you are laughing thinking it to be a joke.



HE: Can I have your name?

SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Yes I already have one. But people keep calling you 'Bimbo'. Just wanted to confirm this with you and you highly obliged with your answer.



HE: Shall we go and see a film?

SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Sorry I was not talking to you. I am on my wireless device. Excuse me for a while...



HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?

SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

HE: Yea you are right... Plain bad luck for me !



HE: Where have you been all my life?

SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Hey there was no need to hide from me for just $500. I anywez had forgotten about it and would'nt have asked it back from you.



HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

SHE: Yes, that’s why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Yea it was quiet embarassing... You entered the men's toilet by mistake and I just happened to pee on my neighbour as I turned around to see you. By the way you still surprise men by this stunt?





HE: Is this seat empty?

SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: I know you love to sit on my LAP

HE WAS, IS and always WILL be smarter than SHE

[JaiSpeaks]

good one dixie

[JaiSpeaks]

Here are some of the pages of a newly released book

The Hindi Song Lovers Guide to Programming in FORTRAN 90 ...Wicky King
ISBN ... 12340-007

----------------------------------------------------------------------
10 The IF GO TO statement

Koi jab tumhara hriday toRde
TaRapta hua jab koi chhoRde
Tab tum mere paas aana priyay
Mera dar khula hai, khula hi rahega
Tumhare lie, koi jab tumhara.............................(Mukesh)

20 The DO loop

Sau saal pehle, mujhe tumse pyaar tha
Mujhe tumse pyaar tha
Aaj bhi hai, aur kal bhi rahega
Sadion se tujhse milne, jiya beqarar tha
Jiya beqarar tha
Aaj bhi hai, aur kal bhi rahega.......................(Rafi/Lata)

The IF THEN ELSE statement
(in 2 songs for the novice)

30 IF THEN

Tum agar saath dene ka waada karo
Main yunhi mast naGHme luta-ta rahun
Tum mujhe dekhkar muskurati raho
Main tumhe dekhkar geet gaata rahun
Tum agar saath dene ka...................................(mKapoor)

40 ELSE

Tu na mili to hum jogi ban jaenge, tu na mili to
Tu na mili to hum jogi ban jaenge, tu na mili to han
Saari umariya ko rogi ban jaenge, tu na mili to
Tu na mili to hum jogi ban jaenge, tu na mili to..............(KK)

The IF THEN ELSE statement
(in 1 song for the advanced user)

50 IF THEN

Tum agar mujhko na chaaho to koi baat nahin

ELSE

Magar kisi aur ko chaahogi to mushkil hogi................(Mukesh)

60 The CALL statement

Aaaja, aaja, aaaja, aaaaaaja
Tujhko pukare mera pyaar, hoe
Tujhko pukare mera pyaar
Aaja, main to miTa hun tere pyaar me
Tujhko pukare mera pyaar
Tujhko pukare mera pyaar....................................(Rafi)

70 The WHILE DO Statement

Jab tak rahe tan me jiya
Waada raha O saathia
Hum tumhare lie, tum humare lie
Ho, hum tumhare lie, tum humare lie
Jab tak rahe tan me jiya....................................(Asha)



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[lawgirl707]

couldn't wait till friday guys...

Why you shouldn't put your picture on the internet: