Gujju Special: Funny

[Charchila]

Chintu: mara daddy etla lamba che ne, ke aakash mathi udti patang aam pakdi le!
Pintu: mara pappa bi etla j lamba che, pan eva vaghri veda nathi karta!!



Happy Vasi Uttarayan folks

[sarv_shaktimaan]

this one had a caption .. "technical surtis"

[Jagmohan]

ઊંડો કુવો,................. ને ફાટી બોક !
શીખવ્યું,.. સાંભળ્યું,........ સર્વે ફોક !!!!



Hole in da Head !

iis raat ki, koi subah nahin !

Sorry, Folks,...... But,.. NO Band-Aid, for this wound !

[Jagmohan]

Tara ankh na ishara par mane marta na avadyu,

prem sagar ma dubyo pan mane tarta na avadyu,

mane dukh nathi fakt afsos 6e ek vatanu

ke tari ankh mathi ansu bani mane kharata pan na avadyu.



DIL NA ARMANO NE FANA KARI GAYU KOI,

LAGANIO SATHE CHEDA KARI GAYU KOI,

NIRATE SUTO HATO BADNAMI NI KABAR MA,

DIVO MUKI MARA DIL PAR DAJADI GAYU KOI.



दुनिया बड़ी भेन की लो*
बांधे गधा बताये घोड़ी

[Jagmohan]

A Gujarati having no children, no money, no home and a blind mother, prays sincerely to God to improve his life.

God is very pleased with his prayer, and grants him one wish, just one!

The Gujarati says OK God, thanks, my one and only wish is - 'I want my Mom to see my wife putting one hundred million dollars worth of diamonds around the neck of each of my 5 children, in my Rolls Royce parked next to our 2 Ferraris and 2 Lamborghinis near the enclosed heated Olympic sized swimming pool of our new 50,000 sq.ft. bungalow in our 50 acre property in Beverly Hills.'

God: Damn it! I still have a lot to learn from these Gujarati's.

[Jagmohan]

Gujju boy's open letter to the non dhokla eating world!

Stumbled upon this on net.... Kinda funny... The gujju guy seems to be a badass.......

Deer Indians,


Helo!!!!
Will you Fraanship wit me?
I will be Urr frand 4ever.
Urs lavingly,
Cumless


This is the exact impression that a lot of people in India have about Gujarati people. We don't know English. We almost rape the language. Well, guess what, we are NOT that way. Just because you got a friend request from a couple of baboons on facebook or you know a few nut jobs doesn't mean the entire community is like that. If we started profiling people that way then, North Indians would be thugs, South Indians would be a cross between Vinod Kambli and Bappi Lehri, Maharashtrians would be like KRK and Bongs would be like communists. But we all know that its not the case.

Let's clear up a few things about Gujarati people.

First of all, Garba is not a festival. Its a form of dance. Navratri is the festival. And NO, not all gujjus can dance like Naresh Kanodia or sing like Falguni Pathak.

Second, Dhokla, Khaman and Khandvi are different things. Also, as much as Kareena Kapoor wants you to believe it, they are not bombs. They are tasty if you know how to cook them.

Third, we are not kanjoos. We just know how to spend our money properly. Is that such a big thing? We know how to make money. We are good with business. If you are not, deal with it. Bongs are good at music and stuff. Every community has their thing. Ours is money making.

Fourth, when people tell you Gujarat is safe for girls it does not mean that guys here are shy. Fortunately, we know how to respect women. A girl in Gujarat can drive around at 2:00 AM in the night on a two wheeler and still not have to worry about anything.

Fifth, not every gujju is into share market. Just because Harshad Mehta and Ketan Parekh took your trip once doesn't mean we all spend our nights thinking up of sinister plans of taking over the financial market.

Sixth, we did not start the English Indian Accent. We were one of the first to go to foreign countries and set up shop there but that does not mean that we were the only ones.

Seventh, all gujju food is not sweet. We have namkeen and spicy stuff as well. It's just that people who eat gujju stuff at weird places always end up getting sweet stuff and they then go on to generalize about all gujju food. I agree, our food is not that spicy but that's because its mainly vegetarian food. If you want to eat proper gujju food then go to a gujju friends house and not to some roadside Gujarati thali place in North India which is run by a South Indian with a north east cook.

Eight, prohibition is not such a big thing. If you think Gujarat is not 'cool' enough just because of prohibition, toh devdas ki kasam, Aap bevde hain.

Nine, gujju people don't have that obsession over fair skin. They are not all engineers. They don't hate any other part of the country even though they sometimes make fun of that place.

Ten, gujju diet has both rice and chapatti. We are like a mix of North India and South India. Add to it the sweets and we have a bit of East India as well.

These are just a few things that needed to be cleared. I hope all you people out there understand. Stop being a regionalist. Its okay to be identified as belonging to a particular region but then putting people in water tight compartments based on just their place of birth is just stupid.

[punkaj]

आने वाले चुनाव 2019 मे सन्नी करेगी बीजेपी का प्रचार,

नारा होगा -

कम करो यार चोदा चोदी ।
फिर एक बार नरेन्द्र मोदी।।
😜😝😜😝😜😝
राहुल: माँ मैंने 4 घंटे गुजरात के किसानो के साथ बिताए।

सोनिया:शाबास बेटा तूने क्या सीखा?

राहुल:लाव भूरा मावो दे...


😉😜😄😆😝😂

[kalidas]

Boy to rand : muthiya mari apvana ketla le che??


Rand : 500 rupira.


Boy: ok


Rand : bol marava che?!

Boy: na be hu to khali hisab marto to ke atyar sudhi ketla bachaya😂😂

Rand: bhag bhosdina ahiya thi..

[Charchila]

Originally Posted by kalidas

Boy to rand : muthiya mari apvana ketla le che??


Rand : 500 rupira.


Boy: ok


Rand : bol marava che?!

Boy: na be hu to khali hisab marto to ke atyar sudhi ketla bachaya😂😂

Rand: bhag bhosdina ahiya thi..

[dirty]

Originally Posted by Jagmohan

A Gujarati having no children, no money, no home and a blind mother, prays sincerely to God to improve his life.

God is very pleased with his prayer, and grants him one wish, just one!

The Gujarati says OK God, thanks, my one and only wish is - 'I want my Mom to see my wife putting one hundred million dollars worth of diamonds around the neck of each of my 5 children, in my Rolls Royce parked next to our 2 Ferraris and 2 Lamborghinis near the enclosed heated Olympic sized swimming pool of our new 50,000 sq.ft. bungalow in our 50 acre property in Beverly Hills.'

God: Damn it! I still have a lot to learn from these Gujarati's.

A Gujarati having no children, no money, no home and a blind mother, prays sincerely to God to improve his life.

God makes him Prime Minister of INdia

[kalidas]

Gujju police: "Bapu, ame tamne chaaru baaju thi gheri leedha che!"

Baapu: "heyn?"" thodi vaar vicharya pachi "toh haalo garbo chalu karo!"

---

Baapu " Doctor, tame maru daaru chodavi shako cho??

Doctor: "chokkas...so taka!"

Baapu: "toh police choki maa mari 40 bottlo padi che...chodavi aapo!"

[kalidas]

ગ્રાહક : આ ચડ્ડી કેટલા ની છે ??

દુકાનદાર : ૧૫૦
ગ્રાહક : પણ આની warranty શું છે ??

દુકાનદાર : એક ઉંચી બિલ્ડિંગ ઉપર જઈને ખાલી નીચે જોજે.......

तारि ફાટસે પણ ચડ્ડી ક્યારેય નહીં ફાટસે !!!

આ છે Warranty