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Friday Special Tickle your funny bone...

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  #1  
Old April 29th, 2015, 10:30 AM
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Haryanvi special

Sharing some jokes i received on Whatsapp.


जज बोल्या -तू तीसरी बार अदालत आया है तने
शर्म कोनी आती??
.
.
.
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जाट बोल्या- हाहाहा ,,साले तू तो रोज़
आवे है तने तो डूब के मर जाना चाहिए।



ग्राहक : थारी भैंस की एक आंख
तो खराब स.
फेर भी तू इसके 25 हज़ार रुपिये
मांगन लाग्र्या स?
सुंडू : तन्न भैंस दूध
खात्तर चाहिए
या
नैन-मटक्का करन खात्तर.....

हरयाणवी आदमी जवाब उल्टे नही देता...लोग सवाल उल्टे करते है

हज़्ज़ाम ने पूछा - ताउ बाल छोटे करने है के..?

ताउ बोला - बड़े कर सके है के ?
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Last edited by sarv_shaktimaan; July 6th, 2016 at 09:18 PM.
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  #2  
Old April 29th, 2015, 10:39 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Haryanvi is going very fast on his bicycle when he hits a lady walking on the road. She falls down on impact, gets up and goes -

Lady to Haryanvi: ghanti laga to rakhi hai maar nahi sakta.

Haryanvi: Rae poori cycle maar di tane ab kya ghanti alag se maaroon?

Last edited by sarv_shaktimaan; April 29th, 2015 at 10:51 AM.
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  #3  
Old April 29th, 2015, 03:11 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Haryanvi special

एक हरियाणवी छोरे की एक पतली सी लडकी से फ्रेँडशिप हो गई !

उसने लड़की को मैसेज भेजा:
.
.
.
मुखडा भी तेरा ख़ास कोन्या ;
हड्डियों पर तेरे माँस कोन्या;
प्रपोज तैने मैं क्या ख़ाक करूं बावली;
तेरी तो वैलनटाई डे तक जीने की
आस कोन्या!"




एक बै रलदू एक पार्टी में चला गया | रलदू अपणे धोरे एक आदमी ने बोल्या - के जमां अग्या सै, सामने जो छोरा बैठ्या सै, उसके लते देख, जम्मा छोरी बर्गा लागये सै | वा छो मैं आ के बोल्या - भाई साहब, आप न्यू क्यूकर बोलण लाग रे सो, वा तो मेरी छोरी सै | रलदू बोल्या भाई मैंने माफ़ करयो, मन्ने नी बैरा था कि अक तै उसका बाप सै| इतनी बात सुनके वा और भी गुस्सा होया अर बोल्या - तन्ने तो वास्तव में तमीज कोनी, मैं उसका बाप कोनी माँ सूं |





एक बार बस माँ दो बालक , ड्राईवर के पास वाली सीट प् बैठे बतलान लागरे , आर उन माँ ता एक बार बार नु क रा
“भाई मेरे माँ -बाप जा पुलिस माँ होते न ता मैं भे आज थानेदार होता “
अगर मेरे माँ -बाप मास्टर होते ता मैं भे आज मास्टर होता
अगर मेरे माँ -बाप डॉक्टर होते ता मैं भे आज डॉक्टर होता
जा मेरे माँ -बाप इंजिनियर होते ता मैं भे आज बहुत बड़ा इंजिनियर होता .
ता भाई इसा तरिया वो बार बार ये अ बात दोहरावा था .
एब वो ड्राईवर भय घनी हान त सुने था परेसान हो क गुसे मा बोला
“अगर तेरे मा -बाप कुते -कुतिया होते त तू के होता “
छोरा भे उस्ताद था बोल्या
“ड्राईवर “

.

Last edited by Jagmohan; April 30th, 2015 at 06:09 PM.
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  #4  
Old April 29th, 2015, 03:12 PM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Haryanvi special

रहिमन कूलर राखिये बिन कूलर सब सून
कूलर बिना ना किसी को गर्मी से मिले सुकून ।।

ए.सी. जो देखन मैँ गया ए.सी. ना मिलया कोय
जब घर लौटा आपणे घर घर ए.सी. होय ।।

बिजली का बिल देखकर दिया कबीरा रोय
कूलर ए.सी. के फेर मेँ खाता बचा ना कोय ।।

बाट ना देखिए ए.सी. की चला लीजिए फैन
चार दिनोँ की बात है फिर आगे सब चैन।।


पँखा झेलत रात गयी आयी ना लेकिन लाईट
मच्छर गाते रहे कान मेँ तक तना तंदूरी नाईट ।।




..

Last edited by Jagmohan; April 30th, 2015 at 06:05 PM.
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  #5  
Old April 30th, 2015, 08:12 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Jagguji, they seem Haryanvi versions of Saas Bahu Serials, long and not at all funny.
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  #6  
Old April 30th, 2015, 08:29 AM
Jagmohan Jagmohan is offline
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Re: Haryanvi special

^^aap bhi kamaal kar rahe hai,..

at one place I had posted 600+ such Haryaanvi selected major jokes of " Raaldu and Taavu,.. and whole thread was super hit as each joke was a class selected funny joke items / poems/ proverbs and sayings,..
This was liked by few.

Nonetheless, I don't wanna fill this thread with such 800+ typical known haryaanvi jokes.
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  #7  
Old April 30th, 2015, 01:07 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Jaggu ji, Thats why you wont find ulti khopdis like me in other "Oh so sweet thanks for sharing" kind of forums. But look at the jokes Shakti Pai and i posted. They are short and reflect what Haryana is. Your first one is so long that by the time you reach the end, you forget what the joke is about.
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  #8  
Old April 30th, 2015, 03:19 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgars View Post
Jaggu ji, Thats why you wont find ulti khopdis like me in other "Oh so sweet thanks for sharing" kind of forums. But look at the jokes Shakti Pai and i posted. They are short and reflect what Haryana is. Your first one is so long that by the time you reach the end, you forget what the joke is about.


Calm down Sgars.

He has to post something. So he did.
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Old April 30th, 2015, 03:28 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmthaLal View Post
Calm down Sgars.

He has to post something. So he did.
And after so many years I am yet to understand what fun he derives posting those posts
Maybe trying for some Guinness entry
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Old April 30th, 2015, 06:07 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Ok folks, replaced the longer boring ones. I had thought, you will enjoy the rasa-swaad and taste of Haryanvi language's acent-flavor,
But you did not, and somehow failed to grab n' grasp the language-taste.
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Old May 1st, 2015, 09:19 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jagmohan View Post
Ok folks, replaced the longer boring ones. I had thought, you will enjoy the rasa-swaad and taste of Haryanvi language's acent-flavor,
But you did not, and somehow failed to grab n' grasp the language-taste.
Teek hai bhai, hamara galti... tumhara nahi. It's me, not you.
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Old May 1st, 2015, 09:23 AM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jagmohan View Post
Ok folks, replaced the longer boring ones. I had thought, you will enjoy the rasa-swaad and taste of Haryanvi language's acent-flavor,
But you did not, and somehow failed to grab n' grasp the language-taste.
Pls continue to post. It is NOT necessary that everyone likes someone's posts all the time. And neither it is necessary to post to derive something. Those who do not like, can skip. I liked whatever you posted above (I haven't read that what you deleted)
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Old May 1st, 2015, 12:57 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jagmohan View Post
I had thought, you will enjoy the rasa-swaad and taste of Haryanvi language's acent-flavor,
That is equivalent to enjoying the melody of Bhangra pop. Haryanvi is a rough language (not swet like purabiya), but the wit is amusing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PeaceSeeker View Post
Pls continue to post. It is NOT necessary that everyone likes someone's posts all the time. And neither it is necessary to post to derive something. Those who do not like, can skip. I liked whatever you posted above (I haven't read that what you deleted)
Looks like our likings' correlation extends to jokes too. but one has to read something to determine whether one likes it or not.
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Old May 1st, 2015, 01:34 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgars View Post
That is equivalent to enjoying the melody of Bhangra pop. Haryanvi is a rough language (not swet like purabiya), but the wit is amusing.
I used to remember many Haryanvi boodha/boodhi jokes.. forgot most of them, quite a few don't translate well in written.

here's one anyway:

There was a lot of crowd on the highway, a fatal accident had happened. People were saying oh its so sad .. fauji mar gaya. Boodhi was walking when she heard the people she went .. dukh kyon karna, fauji ka to kaam hai marna.
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Old May 1st, 2015, 08:43 PM
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Re: Haryanvi special

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgars View Post
Looks like our likings' correlation extends to jokes too. but one has to read something to determine whether one likes it or not.
I guess the point was that my liking (or not) should not decide his posting
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