Fowarded...Jokes.!

[AmthaLal]

Girls hostel mein ladkiyan cycle chala
rahi thi
aur bahut chilla rahi thi.
Madam boli: shor mat karo,
dheere-2 maza lo varna kal cycle
mein seet lagwa dungi.

[AmthaLal]

Biwi: Mere paas proof hai ki tumhaara
chakkar padosan ke saath hai.
Pati: Kya proof hai?
Biwi: Uska Pati kal raat tumhaari
underwear pahan kar aaya tha

[AmthaLal]

Suhagrat ko Husband:
kuch karne ki Ejaazat hai..?
Dulhan shrmate hue: Hamne to kabhi
gairo ko bhi manaa nahi kiya,
Ab aap to fir bhi apne hai..!

[swami]

1813- Women Had No Rights
1913- Women Fought For Their Rights
2013- Women Are Always Right

[sarv_shaktimaan]

LET'S UNDERSTAND THE NATIONS IN RESPECT OF BOVINE ECONOMICS::

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You worship them.

PAKISTANI ECONOMICS:
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid,
China for military aid,
Britain for warplanes,
Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,
France for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs and
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called 'Cowkimon' and market them worldwide.

CHINESE ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of Vodka

FRENCH ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
They are both mad.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them""

[GpeL]

Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan

ITALIAN ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

Nope.

You have 2 cows
You don't know where they ar.
You break for lunch.
When you return one married an indian and now is the leader of ruling party in India
Other is pimping italian arms to India
You milk the Indians instead.

[badriprasad]

EC threads effect you more than you know ... did you know that?

This is not a joke. Happened to a good friend (from foreign) during his last years trip here in India. He was tired, exhausted, and irritated ... who wouldn't be after almost 17 hours of flights and waits at the airports.

He walks to the hotel desk ... some guy in full suit from behind the desk greeted him very nicely and very respectfully ...


"Good evening Sir ... welcome to Ram Bharose Hotel ... do you have reservation?

My friend was not thinking when he replied back ... "Do I look like a dalit to you?"


It didn't go too well. First thing he did next day morning was to get out of the hotel. First thing he did from new hotel was call travel agency owned by one of his friends to inquire about all the flights out of town. He gave travel agent instructions to bring ticket to the airport in case if he had to rush out of town in a hurry.

He was just joking ... bit insensitive but still he didn't mean it.

[swami]

Women always need a reason,season,mood,emotion,comfort etc.to be happy

Men are not like that,they are very simple:They just need a woman!!

[swami]

Passenger 2 Attendant inTrain(giving 100rs)Thoda aur ice La,last peg lena h Attendant:Ice ab nai milegi
Passenger:Q?
Attendant:Qki DeadBody LastStation p utar gai h

[echarcha]

Saying "love you too" after your WIFE says "I love u" is like saying "jai mata di" After u hear "jor se bolo" and its mandatory....

[echarcha]

Savita Bhabhi Ki Beti Kammo: "Mummy mere SIR kitne HANDSOME hain na !"

Savita Bhabhi : "Beti guru Pita ke samaan hote hain."

Kammo: "Bas bahut ho gaya Aap to hamesha apne hi JUGAAD me lagi rehti ho...."

[echarcha]

Innocent Santa got slapped.

Why?

A Lady was wearing
T-shirt with 'GUESS' printed on it.

Innocent santa guessed and said-

'Kam se Kam 36 to hoyenge bhen Ji ...

[echarcha]

Best joke ever about Ladies driving:
Doctor to injured patient:
Jab car ek lady chalaa rahi thi to tumhein road se dur chalnaa chaahiye tha.
.
.
.
.
.
Patient:
Kaun sa road?
Main to Garden mein letaa huaa tha.

[swami]

[GpeL]

Hillarious.. shows what they are traind to do with it..

And swaaamiji.. vo cotton type ka icon kis ke liye hai? Still conphused.. searched and searched koi batti nahi jala..