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  #1  
Old May 16th, 2016, 08:38 AM
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Is it just me or ..

Post similar questions or queries here for discussion.

So here I go on a rant.. a couple of incidents that have made me think.

1. A desi colleague had a baby boy born a couple weeks back, his first child, yet after he came back he brought no sweets. Is it just me or have desis (living abroad or even in des?) given up our customs and social etiquette all together?

2. A familiar desi guy (a neighbor friend), didn't inform his parents in India until 8th month of pregnancy that they were due, then invited only his mother to come to US to help with post-natal care. The baby was born 2 months back, till date he has not told anybody, it's as if it's a shameful thing I saw his mom roaming and crying in our parking lot last month, I invited her up to my place for tea, she cried for an hour sharing her misery with my wife. Is it just me or are desis living in USA away from family are losing it completely?
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  #2  
Old May 16th, 2016, 09:24 AM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan View Post
Post similar questions or queries here for discussion.

So here I go on a rant.. a couple of incidents that have made me think.

1. A desi colleague had a baby boy born a couple weeks back, his first child, yet after he came back he brought no sweets. Is it just me or have desis (living abroad or even in des?) given up our customs and social etiquette all together?

2. A familiar desi guy (a neighbor friend), didn't inform his parents in India until 8th month of pregnancy that they were due, then invited only his mother to come to US to help with post-natal care. The baby was born 2 months back, till date he has not told anybody, it's as if it's a shameful thing I saw his mom roaming and crying in our parking lot last month, I invited her up to my place for tea, she cried for an hour sharing her misery with my wife. Is it just me or are desis living in USA away from family are losing it completely?
Scenario 1- Desis have desi wallets! Dono haathon se sirf batorna hai. Inka to kaam hi hai,"ram naam japna, paraya maal apna." Did you guys chip in or get him a group gift? Were you generous enough to begin with? Even if you were, tell you what., he would've been thankless, as if you owed him & he deserved to be pampered. Some people are just so cheap & thankless. There's no cure for such idiots. If you feel like doing something for someone, just do it without any expectations! Kalyug hai yeh Kalyug

Scenario 2- A lot depends on the equation here! Old aunty must've wronged her darling DIL, who knows? Crying doesn't justify that old aunty was wronged. You need to hear both sides of the story. What else did she share? Tell us more!
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  #3  
Old May 16th, 2016, 01:02 PM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

Story 1: Gift card and best wishes were given. Even without a gift one used to bring sweets for immediate colleagues, neighbors and well wishers. It's like when you return from a trip of India, you must bring sweets for your team or desis around.

Story 2: When I found her weeping.. the poor old lady was roaming around without a key to their apartment or a phone since dear DIL and her son were out shopping for 2 hours longer than what they said they would.
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Old May 16th, 2016, 01:19 PM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan View Post
Story 1: Gift card and best wishes were given. Even without a gift one used to bring sweets for immediate colleagues, neighbors and well wishers. It's like when you return from a trip of India, you must bring sweets for your team or desis around.

Story 2: When I found her weeping.. the poor old lady was roaming around without a key to their apartment or a phone since dear DIL and her son were out shopping for 2 hours longer than what they said they would.
Story 1- You're so naive, Sarvi! I wish, we were neighbors, friends, in real life too In today's day and age, no one cares, & people are proud of the way they are, mighty proud! Selfish, greedy people! I have seen many who throw party at their house & have fun at the expense of others.

Story 2- Nasty people! I still wish you & I were neighbors, friends, in real life
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  #5  
Old May 17th, 2016, 06:04 AM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

#1 is making me trying to remember whether i took any sweets or not. both for Bachcha number 1 in India and bachcha number 2 in LOO. i do remember one Jap distributing chocolates/cakes in Dillika after he had a kid long back. Just hope that i did and in the din of all the busy things and excitement forgot whether i distributed.

#2 is a one off case. Whether in India or Umrika or elsewhere no one hides from parents. The whole world knows and we have all these baby showers and all.
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Old May 17th, 2016, 01:46 PM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan View Post
Story 1: Gift card and best wishes were given. Even without a gift one used to bring sweets for immediate colleagues, neighbors and well wishers. It's like when you return from a trip of India, you must bring sweets for your team or desis around.
.
Still cannot recall. But generally it is besharam me. Mostly it is better half who drills some sense and prepares some misthaan to distribute to others. Obviously when the babies were born she was a bit indisposed. But hope i took something. For the first one, a good chunk of colleagues were there for naam karan though. Second one didnt have this privilege.
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Old May 18th, 2016, 01:53 PM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

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Originally Posted by sgars View Post
Still cannot recall. But generally it is besharam me. Mostly it is better half who drills some sense and prepares some misthaan to distribute to others. Obviously when the babies were born she was a bit indisposed. But hope i took something. For the first one, a good chunk of colleagues were there for naam karan though. Second one didnt have this privilege.
Besharam, your wife seems like a nice woman. I hope you don't make her give in blindly. Some women are so eager to overcompensate. Hope yours is not one of them & I hope you treat her well How old are your babies again? Also, I don't think Sarvi is talking about you
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Old May 18th, 2016, 07:36 PM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

When boy is born u give new father a cigar to smoke, have u given? This is US customs.
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  #9  
Old May 19th, 2016, 08:05 AM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

Here, I had to give all known friends a big Daru party,

It is called RUMPUNCH

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Old May 19th, 2016, 11:11 AM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan View Post
Post similar questions or queries here for discussion.

So here I go on a rant.. a couple of incidents that have made me think.

1. A desi colleague had a baby boy born a couple weeks back, his first child, yet after he came back he brought no sweets. Is it just me or have desis (living abroad or even in des?) given up our customs and social etiquette all together?

2. A familiar desi guy (a neighbor friend), didn't inform his parents in India until 8th month of pregnancy that they were due, then invited only his mother to come to US to help with post-natal care. The baby was born 2 months back, till date he has not told anybody, it's as if it's a shameful thing I saw his mom roaming and crying in our parking lot last month, I invited her up to my place for tea, she cried for an hour sharing her misery with my wife. Is it just me or are desis living in USA away from family are losing it completely?
Speaking of customs...

1. In the US, if somebody has a child, it is customary, in some companies, for the team to pool in money a buy a small gift (such as blankets or toys). In the US, it is not customary to bring sweets. It's an Indian thing which may or may not be suitable in all US companies.

2. In this case, it looks like the family has some issues. Now, it's not just desis in the US with family issues. It's a universal thing. People go through troubled times. It's possible that the lady is having postpartum depression. It could be that the baby has some abnormalities. They could be disputes or other issues with their parents. Who knows?

Don't be quick to judge people or their intentions. Whether desis in US or desis in India or Americans or whoever, human beings and human beings. As a specie, we are all fucked up in our own way. Unless you are me. Then you would be perfect.
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  #11  
Old May 19th, 2016, 12:09 PM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

Quote:
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Unless you are me. Then you would be perfect.
oh you are dovahkiin
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Old May 19th, 2016, 03:45 PM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan View Post
oh you are dovahkiin
Not that perfect!

Btw, where did he disappear?
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  #13  
Old May 20th, 2016, 09:16 AM
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Re: Is it just me or ..

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Originally Posted by kalidas View Post
Not that perfect!

Btw, where did he disappear?
He could not accept his gaping imperfectness
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