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  #1  
Old March 5th, 2003, 10:42 AM
Jat Jat is offline
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Talking Haryanvi Rangtarang ....

Taau kaa Mehmaan

One day a guest came to Tau's house at night. Tau thought that he has to prepare food and serve to the guest, so what to do to aviod this at mid-night. He think upon a plan. He asked the guest,


Tau:" Ha bahi Roti to Khawega"? ( Ok then, you would take food?)

Guest: Haan Tau Roti to khani sain. (Yes Tau I would take food)


Tau: Kitni Roti kha liya kara. (How many Chapatis you can eat)

Guest: "Tau Teen". (Three)

Tau : "Tu !!! Tu teen roti khawaega, Lagda to nahi. (You!!! You will eat Three, It doesn't seems so)
The guest thought that Tau perhaps cook heavy Roti So he replied," Tau do Kha lunga"(Ok, two would do)

Tau : Tu !!! Do roti khawaega, Lagta to nahi. (You!!! You will eat Two, It doesn't seems so)
The gust again thought perhaps Tau's Roti is perhaps too heavy, so replied," Thik Tau to ek he kha lunga"(Ok, Tau I would have one).

Tau: "Rey Mirar, Kyun ek Roti khatar hath sandwawe ga, Sebere ke faltu kha liye"(Oh! Come on why to get my hands dirty for one Roti, In the morning you can eat one extra).
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  #2  
Old March 5th, 2003, 10:52 AM
Jat Jat is offline
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Once a Tau was Travelling in a train. Sitting by him was a young couple. Wife asked the husband to open the window. The husband tried to open the window , but could not as it got stuck. Tau stood up and opened it with a single push. He then said , " Young man you should eat some thing."

After some time it begain to rain and the husband tried to close the window but again couldn't. Tau stood up and closed it again with push and said " Beta Kuch KHAYA Karo". ( Son you should eat something) Husband thought that it's too much and he must do some thing to teach Tau a lesson.

He stood up and tried to pull the chain of the train. Again Tau stood up to show his strength and pulled the chain in a single push and said " Beta, KUCH KHAYA KARO". The train stopped and the guard asked who pulled the chain. When he arrested Tau the Husband said ," TAU, THORA KAM KHAYA KAR". (Tau you should eat a little bit less.)
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  #3  
Old March 5th, 2003, 11:00 AM
Jat Jat is offline
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Taau on Titanic

Help.... Titanic is sinking....

Everyone on the ship are shouting, crying, running or praying to god...

Just then a Italian asks the nearby Taau in the ship.


Italian : How far is land, from here?

Taau : Maximum four miles .

Italian : Only Four miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.

*The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.*

Italian : Just tell me which side, land is two miles from here?

Taau: : Downwards ...
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  #4  
Old March 5th, 2003, 11:04 AM
Jat Jat is offline
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Taau on Cycle...

Once a Tau was going on a cycle and rammed it into a lady. The lady yelled

" Rai Tau tanne dekha konia, teri etnee badi badi much ho rahi."

(Cann't you see Tau you got such a big Musthaches.) Tau replied "

Muchain me ke break lag rahi see". ( Do I got breaks in my Musthaches).
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  #5  
Old March 5th, 2003, 11:27 AM
Jat Jat is offline
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One of my all time favourite ...

A trader ran out of his shop on seeing a snake. A Jat peasant walking by immediately ran inside to help. When the trader bolted the door from the outside, onlookers asked him why. His reply: "Both are despicable, at least one will die."
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  #6  
Old March 5th, 2003, 11:51 AM
tempest tempest is offline
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Jat jokes are not much fun unless rendered in Jat dialect.

here's a real one... happened in Meerut to a relative.

She was buying fruit and asked the reRHi wala... "kharbooja meetha hai na?" .
fruitwala : "ghanno choKho sai"
She: "pakki baat?"
fruitwala: "yo ab main kharbooje ke andar to nah baiTha... meeTha hi dikhay hai"
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  #7  
Old March 5th, 2003, 12:44 PM
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loverboy260 loverboy260 is offline
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loverboy260 is infamous around these partsloverboy260 is infamous around these partsloverboy260 is infamous around these partsloverboy260 is infamous around these partsloverboy260 is infamous around these partsloverboy260 is infamous around these parts
whats is tau? and jat?
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  #8  
Old March 6th, 2003, 12:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by tempest
Jat jokes are not much fun unless rendered in Jat dialect.

Aree Dentist ! dheechodh kaa , yoh hee toh saakaa ho raa , ab mai echarcha.kome kay bheetar buR kai toh sunnaa naa saktaa tamai chutkulay.

Doosraa raaRa yoh haigaa kee jub tak sunaN vaaLa Jat bhaasaa / KhaRi Boli / Haryaanvi may say koisee ko chokkhi tarah naa jaantaa ho , uskai dheLLa naa samjah may aanay kaa kee sunaaN vaaLaa kay kehaN lag raa



[/i][/color]


here's a real one... happened in Meerut to a relative.

She was buying fruit and asked the reRHi wala... "kharbooja meetha hai na?" .
fruitwala : "ghanno choKho sai"
She: "pakki baat?"
fruitwala: "yo ab main kharbooje ke andar to nah baiTha... meeTha hi dikhay hai"
ROTFLMAO

BTW andar = bheetar

A similar type of incidence happened with my Bro and me a few months back and incidentally in Meerut only .There was this chinese sale of gift and gadjet items all priced at RS 99 . Bruvvy picked up a digital calender and asked to confirm whether it was really for 99 only as it had loads of features in it and we were quite sure that it must be a bit expensive .The Jaat Dukaandaar said :

Tamai jo chaahtaa ho Thaa loh saaray item nayntee nayn kay haingay

We payed and were about to leave when suddenly Bruvvy saw that the digital calender had a pen stand also in it and the pen was missing .He turned and asked the Dukaandaar :

Bruvvy : Bhaiyaa is pen stand kay saath pen nahin milegaa kyaa .

Dukaandaar : Ab pen day diyaa toh phir tu opphis ( office ) bhee maangegaa

Last edited by Jat; March 6th, 2003 at 01:08 AM.
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  #9  
Old March 6th, 2003, 01:15 AM
Jat Jat is offline
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Quote:
whats is tau? and jat?
[i]Yoh bheetar kee baat hai [/quote]
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  #10  
Old March 7th, 2003, 09:50 AM
tempest tempest is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jat
ROTFLMAO

Bruvvy : Bhaiyaa is pen stand kay saath pen nahin milegaa kyaa .

Dukaandaar : Ab pen day diyaa toh phir tu opphis ( office ) bhee maangegaa

HAHAHAHAHAHHH ..... this is soooo typical meeruTHi...


My brother was telling me an incident where a Meeruti colleague shows up in college draping white petticot around his shoulders , instead of the LabCoat.

All students started laughing.... then he said... "yaar ghar mein sab aik hi khoonti se tange raywein hain".
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  #11  
Old March 7th, 2003, 10:53 AM
Jat Jat is offline
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Talking

Quote:
Originally posted by tempest
... "yaar ghar mein sab aik hi khoonti se tange raywein hain".
LMAO
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  #12  
Old March 7th, 2003, 11:03 AM
Jat Jat is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by tempest


... "yaar ghar mein sab aik hi khoonti se tange raywein hain".
mae kaeh mannai ek ore haadsaa meerut kaa yaad aa gayaa .

Was in 8th standard ,had gone to Nauchandi ( A Very popular Mela which goes for a month or so their) along with a few cousins .There a 3D english movie was shown in that dome type of structure with a projector et al .The ticket was for 10 bucks and the crowd was as expected all Jaat peasants and some kids like us .

The movie was of 20 minutes duration and it had to be watched standing as there was no sitting arrangement .The movie started and within five minutes came a Blond sex bomb in a bikini for hardly 3 or 5 seconds .Immediately the comment that I heard from my vicinity was.

Lae bhaai ib jaa 5 rupai toh vasool ho gae , ek dafai aur deekh jaa yoh toh pooray 10 vasool ho jaangai

( A pal said that to another of his pal )

For the rest of the time that we were inside we all cousins were interested in watching the movie less but the comments of the watchers more .
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  #13  
Old March 7th, 2003, 11:06 AM
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haha Good ones!!!

Jaat to a young kid, pointing at a great valley : "Chhoray, yeh dekh khuda ki khudaai"

Young Jaat: "Tau, yeh kya khuda ki khudaai hai?"

Old Jaat: "Ray nahi toh kya terey baap nay khudvaai hai?"
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Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a pissing section in a pool!
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  #14  
Old March 7th, 2003, 11:11 AM
Jat Jat is offline
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]Ek dafai Taau solai dekhanN gayaa


One day Tau went to see Sholey. Veru was tied up and Gabber said,

"Nach Basanti Nach".


Veru screamed,"

Nahen Basanti..., en Kutto ke samney mat Nachna".

Tau who was watching the movie very curiously exclaimed ,"

Nachegi Kyuna, Pandra rupiye nu he thora na de rakhe Saien".
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  #15  
Old March 7th, 2003, 11:18 AM
Jat Jat is offline
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Quote:
: "Ray nahi toh kya terey baap nay khudvaai hai?"

Baap kee baat sunkai yoh yaad aa gayaa

Once a Tau was gonig on the road. A car wala blew horn from behind. Tau looked back asked the dirver,

" Ya sadak ke tere BAAP ki Sai ?" .

The dirver replied in annoiance ,"HAA".

Tau immediately replied ,

" Apne BAAP se keh de sadak thorii CHOREE karva de ga, Yoo Tau na halley"
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