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  #1  
Old August 31st, 2009, 12:20 PM
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Post Working full time and household chores

This is the first thread in this View - Counter View forum. I will soon create a separate forum for this, but for now let it remain in Soap Box.

Thanks a lot to sprite (vyomkesh) for coming up with this idea.

First topic

View: A working woman must still be the dutiful wife doing all household chores
Counter-View: A working woman should only shoulder half the responsibilities


NO rules here, but whoever decides to write on either of the sides of the topic, please mention in bold in your post/reply at the very beginning if you are writing a View or Counter View.
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Last edited by echarcha; August 31st, 2009 at 12:22 PM.
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  #2  
Old August 31st, 2009, 12:40 PM
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Counter View

Counter View

Assuming that you are talking about a working woman who is married and has a working husband and perhaps kids, I wouldn't go as far to say that she should shoulder ONLY HALF of the responsibilities, but that there should be an equitable distribution of work as per the circumstances.. Say, a school teacher works 5-6 hours a day in the school, but her husband has a 10 hour job, or maybe the other way around. Both should adjust to divide up the responsibilities, but YES, the woman should not have the full burden of household responsibilities if she is doing a job.
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Old August 31st, 2009, 05:06 PM
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Re: Counter View

Counter View:
Most Indian men are pampered at home. Mummy ka ladla applies to most Indian men. I admit, I too was a pampered son. I mean I never bothered about things like getting water or tea by myself. Either mummy or the servant was there to hand it.

After coming to the USA, I quickly learnt to adapt to the life here and started doing things myself. Now when I go back to India on a visit, I do everything myself whatever I do here. Like even doing my own dishes, etc. Initially my mother was surprised at this transformation but later on when she came over here and saw how things are here and understood.

I think this conflict arises when a man is not ready to stop being a mama's boy and expects same pampering. I feel that men should take up responsibilities and be self sufficient.
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Old September 1st, 2009, 08:27 AM
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Re: View - Counter View: Working full time and household chores

View: A working woman must still be the dutiful wife doing all household chores.


I totally believe that only exceptionally men can be trusted with taking care of household chores. I think it is not in their genes to take care of house, kids and even themselves as a lady can.

In India we may say men are raised the way to be pampered and all, but even in the West where we see no clear difference in the way a girl or a boy is raised, girl tends to be more caring and emotionally attached to the household chores.

No lady in the world can tolerate wet towel on bed, wet bathroom floors, dirty kitchen sinks, where as men don't seem to think there is anything wrong in it.

So may be not " dutiful wife doing all household chores" per say, but a woman should concentrate more on her duties towards her house. In today's world what we need is well mannered, disciplined kids, a loving household and a mother who is always there.

I think world can deal with a few less tellers, secretaries, receptionists and technical writers. But cannot afford any more lonely and destructive kids.

A women is the one who makes a house a home and so I strongly believe it should be a woman's job to take care of her home first.

But putting out garbage, occasionally cutting salads, hanging towels in its place (just once in a while), taking pintu babali to the park so that the lady can have a moment for herself wont hurt husbands either.

So to rest my case, I say yes a should be dutiful wife doing NOT all household chores but not measured 50% or so either. She should be responsible for major part of the household chores.
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  #5  
Old September 1st, 2009, 11:52 AM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

Counter View

I am of the belief that any person (including grown children) living under a hood should contribute to the work that requires to run their house. Some house-hold work can require specialized skills which probably only women can do. But I think compared to the work involved in the house these things are probably only 10% of the work involved. Why not share half of the burden in remaining 90%? To give an example, washing dishes (or putting them in dish-water) or cleaning furniture or vacuuming doesn't require any special skills and can be done by anybody. In fact personally I want my kid also to help us when he is 8+ so that he has a sense of responsibility.

I'll go further than that and say that even if woman is not working, men should bear few minimal responsibilities of house if required. Nobody enjoys household work (except cooking and setting up home may be) so you as a man should understand that your partner might be getting bored and frustrated and you should help her to give her some time out of it and show your willingness in helping her.

On other hand, there could be specific cases like man is extremely busy than woman or woman enjoys household work or woman does not trust her man. In such cases they can mutually decide how to share responsibilities.

But in general I think there shouldn't be any assumption from man that woman is the only responsible person to do 100% household work.
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  #6  
Old September 1st, 2009, 12:16 PM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

Doing housework is ok but any lady in the house be it mother,sister,wife or daughter would find faults with it the only thing they would appreciate would be the cooking that too they would request you once in a while and they would praise the food to such an extent that next time you cannot refuse cooking.
In my view somethings are better done by the respective sex,like as Pakkitai said.Its a learned nature thru ages that women are good in household work and men outside.I dont mean to say that if women are doing the work in the house we should keep on increasing it atleast men can be systematic in their daily chore so as to not increase the work load on the female counterpart like not throwing things here and there,as Pakkitai said keeping wet towel on the bed removing your socks and throwing it around.

In todays world,female reservation is a common thing and they call themselves weaker sex whereas they are the strongest,the unit of pain is dol,during an headache we can say we experience 2 dols or if we are hit by a strong object the pain can be said as 5 or 6 dols but the pain during childbirth is 10 to 12 dols and with the same amount of pain a man can faint, if a female can bear so much pain then why do we term them as weaker sex ?

Agreed sharing work at home can help a man when he is away from home,but still as Chapai said he never had the habit of doing things back at home in India but he learnt it on his own.

Babalog I am not saying that dont share work at home but these are my views
Want to write more but dont want to go off topic and derail this first thread
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Old September 1st, 2009, 12:23 PM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

Counter-Counter View


If women is a homemaker (housewife), then her job is to take care of the home. She can draft in the husband to help, but ultimately its her responsibility and accountability to take care of the home.

If the woman works, hire a maid to do the work and split the remaining chores based on who works longer hours. If you still cant afford a maid even with the woman working, then maybe the woman (or man, whoever earns less) should work as a maid in her own house and give up her other lowly paid job. It just means that her job is not even as profitable as a maid's.
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Old September 1st, 2009, 12:37 PM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

Quote:
Originally Posted by swami View Post
Doing housework is ok but any lady in the house be it mother,sister,wife or daughter would find faults with it the only thing they would appreciate would be the cooking that too they would request you once in a while and they would praise the food to such an extent that next time you cannot refuse cooking.
In my view somethings are better done by the respective sex,like as Pakkitai said.Its a learned nature thru ages that women are good in household work and men outside.I dont mean to say that if women are doing the work in the house we should keep on increasing it atleast men can be systematic in their daily chore so as to not increase the work load on the female counterpart like not throwing things here and there,as Pakkitai said keeping wet towel on the bed removing your socks and throwing it around.

In todays world,female reservation is a common thing and they call themselves weaker sex whereas they are the strongest,the unit of pain is dol,during an headache we can say we experience 2 dols or if we are hit by a strong object the pain can be said as 5 or 6 dols but the pain during childbirth is 10 to 12 dols and with the same amount of pain a man can faint, if a female can bear so much pain then why do we term them as weaker sex ?

Agreed sharing work at home can help a man when he is away from home,but still as Chapai said he never had the habit of doing things back at home in India but he learnt it on his own.

Babalog I am not saying that dont share work at home but these are my views
Want to write more but dont want to go off topic and derail this first thread
did you read instructions properly? You are supposed to mention View or Counterview in bold.
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  #9  
Old September 1st, 2009, 12:38 PM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

No View

If one doesnt have children then how much work is there? It takes me less than 15 mins to vacuum my 1 bedroom apt....half n hour every weekend to clear clutter and organize... half n hour to clean bathroom every week...15 mins for laundry every weekend(not counting cleaning and drying)... haf an hour for bills etc every week... 2 hours of grocery/household shopping every week....
The only thing that takes time is cooking... help your spouse and it is not even an hour a day per head... is that a big deal... now with children scene is totally different...
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Old September 1st, 2009, 12:56 PM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

Quote:
Originally Posted by chitrala View Post
No View

If one doesnt have children then how much work is there? It takes me less than 15 mins to vacuum my 1 bedroom apt....half n hour every weekend to clear clutter and organize... half n hour to clean bathroom every week...15 mins for laundry every weekend(not counting cleaning and drying)... haf an hour for bills etc every week... 2 hours of grocery/household shopping every week....
The only thing that takes time is cooking... help your spouse and it is not even an hour a day per head... is that a big deal... now with children scene is totally different...
takes me around the same time doing chores you mentioned.

You forgot about washing dishes. sabse badi piraablem.
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Old September 1st, 2009, 01:11 PM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

Quote:
Originally Posted by chitrala View Post
No View

If one doesnt have children then how much work is there? It takes me less than 15 mins to vacuum my 1 bedroom apt....half n hour every weekend to clear clutter and organize... half n hour to clean bathroom every week...15 mins for laundry every weekend(not counting cleaning and drying)... haf an hour for bills etc every week... 2 hours of grocery/household shopping every week....
The only thing that takes time is cooking... help your spouse and it is not even an hour a day per head... is that a big deal... now with children scene is totally different...
Family planning kar raha hi kya

Shaktibhai,I dont know what to term my post as view or counter view,ingrezi me bahut kam hu apun
Chal yaar I give you the power of Attorney to label my post
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Old September 1st, 2009, 01:13 PM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

Quote:
Originally Posted by swami View Post
Family planning kar raha hi kya

Shaktibhai,I dont know what to term my post as view or counter view,ingrezi me bahut kam hu apun
Chal yaar I give you the power of Attorney to label my post
arre yaar poora post padhna hota to poochta kyun main. khaali baitha tha socha swami ki kheenchu.
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Old September 1st, 2009, 01:22 PM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan View Post
arre yaar poora post padhna hota to poochta kyun main. khaali baitha tha socha swami ki kheenchu.
Wohi mai soch raha tha ke log mujhe aaj kal gaali kyu nahi dete ab pata chala ke mera post to koi padta hi nahi hi
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Old September 1st, 2009, 01:24 PM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

Quote:
Originally Posted by swami View Post
Wohi mai soch raha tha ke log mujhe aaj kal gaali kyu nahi dete ab pata chala ke mera post to koi padta hi nahi hi
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Old September 1st, 2009, 01:30 PM
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Re: Working full time and household chores

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarv_shaktimaan View Post
Honest ki kami aur tum dono ke jhagde miss kar raha tha.
Ha yaar Honest kaha hi,koi to usko PM karo,mai to block hu uske list mei koi to bhejo re PMwa
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