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  #1  
Old March 5th, 2001, 06:47 PM
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Question

I am lucky that I dont have problem with my wife and her adjusting nature with my mother and father. My family is visiting me here soon in summer time. My wife already had spent some time visiting my house before wedding. So she knows my family well.

But this question is for a friend who got married just now. He is worried about how and when to introduce his mother into his life? Means that he is newly married and it is just 1 month now since wedding. So he is worried that how his (arranged marriage) new wife will accept his mother so soon in their life here. He is worried because he had a quick marriage when he went to India. He saw girl, got married and came back quickly. So his wife did not get time to spend much with parents in India. Should he get his mother here soon or after some time? He is planning to get his parents to visit here sometime soon like mine in coming summer. And they are planning 6 months trip.

All married Echarcha memebers, what is your experience about this issues between your wife and your parents?
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  #2  
Old March 5th, 2001, 07:11 PM
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Cool Welcome back bada_bhai

Since I am currently single nor have been through this situation, I really cannot contribute. But I will write about what I feel tomorrow.

Good to see you back. Why not ask your friend to regsiter here too?
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  #3  
Old March 5th, 2001, 07:55 PM
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well u should tell ur friend to introduce his mother as soon as he can... n also tell him to stop worrying its the duty of his wife to adjust... n if she can't then she will be responsible for the breakup of their marriage...
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  #4  
Old March 5th, 2001, 07:57 PM
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Talking

in the fight between m-i-l and wife the guy who benefits the most is the son/husband, as both of them try to woo him. If husband/son is innocent, he suffers.
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  #5  
Old March 6th, 2001, 01:15 PM
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Cool Its like this

If your friend is scared of getting his parents over then he should talk it with his wife.

Maybe call his parents only for 3 months instead of the standard 6 months which many parents come here for.

Maybe allow some more time if he has married just recently. That will give more open environemnt for him and his wife to adjust and know each other better.

But whether its her parents or his, they should come over and necessary adjustments need to be made.

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  #6  
Old March 6th, 2001, 01:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by bada_bhai
....He saw girl, got married and came back quickly. So his wife did not get time to spend much with parents in India. ....
This does not apply to his case, but for those un-married ones out there, listen:

He should have manipulated situations so that his wife could have had the opportunity to stay with his parents.
If it was an Urgent situation, where he had to come back to the USA because of a pending project, he should have come back alone. Then call his wife couple of weeks later.

That would have given AMPLE time for his wife to understand his parents, especially mother-in-law, under the guidance of her mother and relatives.

Anyway, for the case at hand, it's certainly will be the test of his judgement. Did he select the right partner in life? One who could adjust, compromise and finally rule over this situation?

also, what opinion does he have about his own mother? Is she bitchy? (sorry for the term). If so, better warn his wife beforehand so that she can be prepared for it.

Also, he should inform both his mother and wife of each others choices, preferences and behaviour. That will lay the ground for a nice get together, provided both are willing to listen to him and his advices.

Other than that, Best of luck





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