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  #16  
Old June 14th, 2010, 10:37 AM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

I usually dont talk to anyone . just stand in one corner .
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  #17  
Old June 14th, 2010, 10:39 AM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaiSpeaks View Post
I usually dont talk to anyone . just stand in one corner .
This sounds like a good idea... I should do this too.

Edit: at least this way I can stand and stare at the beautiful but sad girls.
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  #18  
Old June 14th, 2010, 11:58 AM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

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Originally Posted by JaiSpeaks View Post
I usually dont talk to anyone . just stand in one corner .
He is not asking about talking or standing he wants your view about sharing
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  #19  
Old June 14th, 2010, 01:07 PM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

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Originally Posted by Sane Less View Post
This sounds like a good idea... I should do this too.

Edit: at least this way I can stand and stare at the beautiful but sad girls.
and if you are lucky like Will ferree (Wedding Crashers) you can bone one too ...
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  #20  
Old June 14th, 2010, 05:10 PM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

Sharing happiness is possible as long as its free drinks and food. Sharing sadness is good but trouble starts when miserable person tries to impose his miserable life upon you. It is difficult to sympathies with such person or persons. Misery finds ways to seek company.


Bhavarth ... stay away from miserable people.
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  #21  
Old June 14th, 2010, 06:07 PM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

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Originally Posted by swami View Post
He is not asking about talking or standing he wants your view about sharing
like what . Shoulder sharing ?
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  #22  
Old June 14th, 2010, 11:20 PM
ALBERT PINTO ALBERT PINTO is offline
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

Recently my fatherís distant cousin passed away. This uncle was a one of the dearest relative I ever had. When I heard the news, many childhood memories flashed in front of my eyes. I was in deep pain and regretted that in the pretext of work and others how I kept myself away from visiting the near and dear ones in the last few years. This uncle was not well for long time and I used to talk to him over phone for long hours. Its improper to compare, but to let you guys know the intensity of my relation with him, I used to hear him more than his own sons. Many a times, I wanted to visit him, but some or the other thing took priority; and I missed visiting him.

I wasnít able to go back to India to attend his cremation/last rites. My passport was at an embassy for stamping visa and it was a weekend and I didnít get my passport back for next two days; missed seeing him for a last time.

I didnít call his wife or sons because I don't know what to say. It was a loss for me too. Is loss comparable?

A week later I reached India and visited the family. Incidentally, they were having a post cremation religious ceremony. At the function, I sensed that few guys who were closer relative to this uncle were treating me as sort of social outcast because I didnít do the social norm of visiting and paying the last respect or atleast a call to console the family if I was away from the place.

Not that these petty things matters, but these incident brings me to a question Ė how you can console somebody when you yourself is at equally or more at loss? And are the formalities or so-called social norms so strong that you have to conform it to be part of a society?
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  #23  
Old June 15th, 2010, 05:11 AM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ALBERT PINTO View Post
I didn’t call his wife or sons because I don't know what to say. It was a loss for me too. Is loss comparable?

Not that these petty things matters, but these incident brings me to a question – how you can console somebody when you yourself is at equally or more at loss? And are the formalities or so-called social norms so strong that you have to conform it to be part of a society?
I am so sorry to hear your loss.

This is how I feel about this situation: Loss is not comparable (I think) because everyone is experiencing loss at different levels.
Yes, when you yourself is grieving his loss there is no way you will find words to console others. According to me formalities take a back seat when it comes these kind of situations.
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  #24  
Old June 22nd, 2010, 07:25 PM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ALBERT PINTO View Post
Recently my fatherís distant cousin passed away. This uncle was a one of the dearest relative I ever had. When I heard the news, many childhood memories flashed in front of my eyes. I was in deep pain and regretted that in the pretext of work and others how I kept myself away from visiting the near and dear ones in the last few years. This uncle was not well for long time and I used to talk to him over phone for long hours. Its improper to compare, but to let you guys know the intensity of my relation with him, I used to hear him more than his own sons. Many a times, I wanted to visit him, but some or the other thing took priority; and I missed visiting him.

I wasnít able to go back to India to attend his cremation/last rites. My passport was at an embassy for stamping visa and it was a weekend and I didnít get my passport back for next two days; missed seeing him for a last time.

I didnít call his wife or sons because I don't know what to say. It was a loss for me too. Is loss comparable?

A week later I reached India and visited the family. Incidentally, they were having a post cremation religious ceremony. At the function, I sensed that few guys who were closer relative to this uncle were treating me as sort of social outcast because I didnít do the social norm of visiting and paying the last respect or atleast a call to console the family if I was away from the place.

Not that these petty things matters, but these incident brings me to a question Ė how you can console somebody when you yourself is at equally or more at loss? And are the formalities or so-called social norms so strong that you have to conform it to be part of a society?

Don't worry about the social norms. However if you do empathize, please don't let 'not knowing what to say' hold you back. There was a loss in my family and I was surprised to see people from far away places and out of town visiting or call in and sharing their memories. I have no idea how the news spreads (in India), but it does. Many of them clearly were at a loss on how to begin the conversation but that doesn't matter. If you feel that pain, just let it out and don't let it burn just inside you... you need to grieve as well for your part of the loss...
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  #25  
Old June 22nd, 2010, 09:12 PM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

Pinto, it is not the dead, but the living who need the support of your presence. Whatever your beliefs, all the post-mortem ceremonies are meant to get the tribe together. Most of us are staying away from our families and those who have been away for a long time will realise that death and marriages are the two occasions that bring a family together. Hope you can make up for that mistake. I know how it feels, for too often I have been guilty of being there for my people. You see, just a word matters.
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  #26  
Old June 23rd, 2010, 12:04 AM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

Wasn't it in the news? Close relatives are hiring/paying B and C category Bollywood film stars to come to a loved ones funeral ... acting sad.
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  #27  
Old June 23rd, 2010, 01:27 AM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

Yes !!
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  #28  
Old June 23rd, 2010, 01:55 AM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

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Originally Posted by tantric_yogi View Post
Wasn't it in the news? Close relatives are hiring/paying B and C category Bollywood film stars to come to a loved ones funeral ... acting sad.
stealing jobs of rudalees? I could never get the concept of hiring people to cry.
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  #29  
Old June 23rd, 2010, 03:32 AM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

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Originally Posted by amritvani View Post
stealing jobs of rudalees? I could never get the concept of hiring people to cry.
Haven't you heard, only the employed are eligible for new jobs. Rudalees have been out of job ever since Dimple Kapadia took over their role.
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  #30  
Old June 23rd, 2010, 06:55 AM
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Re: Is it possible to share happiness/sadness?

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Originally Posted by tantric_yogi View Post
Wasn't it in the news? Close relatives are hiring/paying B and C category Bollywood film stars to come to a loved ones funeral ... acting sad.
New twist to this.

The fans for the North Korean team at the world cup are actually Chinese who are hired to go cheer for NK. This is because NK citizens dont get visas to go anywhere.

So hundreds of Chinese "fans" were hired to go cheer for NK - many of them have never even seen a soccer match before
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