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  #1  
Old September 2nd, 2002, 11:17 AM
Dhurandhar Bhat's Avatar
Dhurandhar Bhat Dhurandhar Bhat is offline
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Wink Monday Humourous Shairi.

Chilhood: When you make faces at mirror. Middle age is when mirror gets even.

Bald man: A person who has lot of face to wash and very little hair to comb.

Marriage: An institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a women gets her master’s.

Doctor: Who cures your ills by pills and kills you by his bills.

Alimony: A mode of payment that enables a women who at one time lived happily married to live happily unmarried.

Indian Film Heroines: If they display their assets, the producer recovers his liabilities.
..............................
Anonymous

choadhan choadhan sab koe'ee karai hai
choadh sakay na koe'ey
choadhan ka jab samay aa'yay
Lan k-haRay na hoe'ey!

Un kee shaaDHee maiN thamboo lagaanay chaloe
Valimay kee daiGHaiN pakaanay chaoe!!

....................................
Aur bhi cheezain buhat see lut chu-ki hain dil kay saath
Yae bataya doostoon nae ishq furma-ney kay baad
Is leay kamray ki eak eak cheez "ckeck" karta hoon main
"Eak teray aa-ney say phah-ley, eak teray jaa-ney kae baad"
....................................

Aadat jo padi ho hamesha se door bhala kab hoti hai
rakhi hai chunauti packet mein patloon ke neeche dhoti hai!
...................................
Well, you have one famous poet in Pakistan, Allam Iqbal, who wrote quite
a few humorous poems in Urdu.
An example is a spoof on the poem,

Dasht to dasht, dariyan bhi na chodhe hamne,
behre zulmaat mein, dauda diye ghode hamne.

He converted it into a poem describing the relationship a person has with
his in-laws.

Saaliyan to Saaliyan, Saale bhi na chodhe hamne,
Eehle-susraal mein dauda diye, ..... hamne. (Fill up the blanks here).
.................................

Balti main bhar kay paani tayra aks daikhta hoon
balti hila hila kar tayra raqs daikhta hoon

.................................
Jab ka-ha tha aa-ou tho aa-tay na thae
Bin ke-hay aab bar bar aa-ney la-gae
Ya kabhi wo bae-rukhi, ya yae karam
sath aab bach-choon ko bhi la-ney la-gae
..................................
Muj-hay maaN ka pyaar naheeN mila
magar is baap say kya gilaa
mairee walida thoe yeh keh thee hai
thairee walida ko'ee aur hai!!

Yeh thoe theethar-o-chakoar haiN
wahee pakRaiN unkoe jo choar haiN
main chakoar-akoar ka kyaa karoaN
mairee fakhtha ko'ee aur hai!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

zahid agar ibadat mein dam hai to jaa masjid ko hila
nahin to aa baith doo ghoont peele aur masjid ko hilta dekh

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dil se niklee baat, asar karti hai.
Par nahin, Parwaaz magar asar Rakhti hai.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suna hay, kal ik sas ko bahoo nay peet diya
To is khabar pay yeh hungama Char soo kya hay
Shohar say larnay jhagarnay kay hum nahin qaa il
Jo saas hee ko na thonkay woh bahoo kya hay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Abstract Art kay mulbay say yeh niklee daulat
Jis ko sanjhay thay anannas woh niklee aurat.
Aik tasveer jo kamal-e-fun thee
Bhains kay jism pay, oont kee gurdan see thee.
Naqsh-e-mahbood musavvir nay saja rakha hay.
Main yeh samjha keh Tapai pay garha rakha hay.
Is numaish main jo utfal chalay aatay thay.
Dar kay maaon kay seenay say lippat jatay thay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Neend kaysay aaj aaye gi
teen tangain hain chaar pai ki

Main nay naheen kiya tujhay badnam
yeh sharatat hay tayray naai ki

Khood na aao to bhaij do qasid
raat kat-ti naheen judai ki

2. Sudharain shaikh kaabay ko ham inglistaan daikhain gay
khuda ka ghar woh daikhain ham khuda ki shan daikhain gay

3. Shaikh ji council kay voter hogaaye
lijiaye chakray say motor hogaaye

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Sheikh sahib ke yeh Bebakiyaan dekhiye
Maikade main yeh chalakiyan dekhiye

eik botal to lee masjid ke paisoN se
Eik pyala rabb ke naam ka pee liya

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here are few more Humorous shairs

Main Unki galiyoon main gaya aur kaha dil se dil mila lo
par jab unke baap ko dekha to kaha bartan kaliyee(shine) kara lo

Unki zulfoon pe pyaar aaya
Paas ja kar dekha tu sardar paya

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Har roaz `aadaab' `aadaab' kartee thee ...
aek din daab liyae toh khafa ho gayee."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------





On these lines, Ek Aur Sher Yaad Aaya.

Duniya Se Jo Darre, Usse Kaayar Kehta Hain,
Duniya Jisse Darre, Usse Shaayar Kehte Hain,
Biwi Se Jo Darre, Usse Shohar Kehte Hain.

...........................................


Khuda kare hasino ke bap mar jayen
bahana ho maut ka aur ham unke ghar jayen.

Aisa mat kah jalim yeh mahapap hoga
kabhi too bhee kisi hasina ka bap hoga.
...............

Last edited by Dhurandhar Bhat; September 2nd, 2002 at 11:29 AM.
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  #2  
Old September 2nd, 2002, 12:09 PM
Dhurandhar Bhat's Avatar
Dhurandhar Bhat Dhurandhar Bhat is offline
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Laughter best medicine

junk read on.............


An engineer writing a poetry

I was alone and all was dark
Beneath me and above
My life was full of volts and amps
But not the spark of love

But now that your are here with me
My heart is overjoyed
You turn the square of my heart
Into a sinusoid

You load things from my memory
Onto my system's bus
My life was once assembly code
Now it's C++

I love the way you solder things
My circuits you can fix
The voltage across your diode is
Much more than just point six

With your amps and resistors
You have built my integrator
I cannot survive without you
You are my function generator

You have charged my life, increased my gain
And made my maths discreet
And now i'll end my poem here
Control, Alt, and Delete




Some Shairi for u

BEFORE MARRIAGE
Takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
Tajmahal banana chahata hoon
Lekin mumtaz nahi milti

AN ODE TO ALL THE DEVDAS
Takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
Tajmahal banana chahata hoon,
Aji, mumtaz mil gayi hai magar
Woh shaadi nahi karti

AFTER MARRIAGE
Takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
Tajmahal banana chahata hoon
Lekin mumtaz nahi marti!

PYAAR MEIN DHOKA SERIES :
Maine tujhe saikdon khat likhe,
Tune kisi ka bhi jawab nahi diya.
Kahin tere dil mein raddi ki tokri to nahin?

Woh chham chham karke aayee
Aur chham chham karke chalee gayee
Main sindoor ka dibba lekar khada raha
Woh Rakhee bandh ke chalee gayee.

Badi der se jinki zulfon pe nazren jamaye baithe the
Paas jakar dekha to sardarji nahaye baithe the.

NONSENSE SERIES :
Jee karta hai ki teri nili nili aankhon main dub jaoon
Jee karta hai ki teree nili nili aankhon main dub jaoon
Chhapak !

Mujhe phir wahi yaad aane lage hain
Mujhe phir wahi yaad aane lage hain
Mujhe...
kyon infinite loop me dal rahe hai??

Gum woh cheez hai...
Gum woh cheez hai...
Jisse kagaz chipkaye jaate hai.

THODA SENSE SERIES :
Mat pee sharab galib masjid mein baith kar
Ek hi botal hai, kahin khuda na mang le. (Wah Wah)

Khud ko kar buland itnaa..
Ke' Himaalay ki choti pe jaa pahunche..
Aur khuda tumse puche..
'Abe gadhe... ab utrega kaise '

DOOR SE DEKHA SERIES :
Door se dekha to kuchh dikha nahi...
Dooor se dekhaaa... to kuchh dikha nahi...
Paas jake dekhaa to kuchh tha hi nahin!!!

Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Paas gaya... to bheeg gaya!!!

Door se dekha to sher tha
Door se dekha to sher tha
Is liye paas gaya hi naihn!!!

Tumne mere man se khela
Tumne mere tan se khela
Tumne mere dhan se khela
Wah, Wah Wah ! Well played! Well played!

Kaaash ke tere chehre par Chickenpox ke daag hote.....
Kaaash ke tere chehre par chickenpox ke daag hote.....
Chand to tu hai hi ..sitaare bhee saaath hote !!!

Jee chahata hei kee tere nazuk honthon ko choom lu
Jee chahata hei kee tere nazuk honthon ko choom lu
Magar teri bahti hui naak ne iraada badal diya....

Ladka bola :
Kash ein hasinao ke baap mar jate,
Bahana gam ka hota, hum inke ghar to jaate.
Ladki boli:
Bewkoof, Yeh bolana bhi paap hoga,
Kisi din tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga.

Ladki boli:
Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi,
Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi.
Ladka bola :
Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga,
Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga.

Bewafa sanam se to cigrattee achi hai,
Bewafa sanam se to cigrattee achi hai,
Dil jalati hai, par hoto se to lagti hai

Jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi
Jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi
Dil ne kaha khud kushi(sucide) kar le
Zalim bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi

Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindagi main,
Badi josh ke sath !
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindagi main,
Badi shhor ke sath !
Aab hum pyar karenge
Badi soch ke sath
Kyon ki usey kal shamko dekha kisi aur ke sath !

Hey Chaand Tu Is Tarah Itrakar Na Dekh,
Humne Bhi Kayee Chand Dekhen Hein
Tummhe To Daag Hein,
Humne To BeDaag Dekhen Hein.

Mein Labve Shikvan Ko Seen Letan Hoon
Chand Ghadiyaan Yuhi Jee Leta Hoon,
Magar Jise Samjoo Dost Ka Haath
Uss Hath Se Zeher Bhi Pee Leta Hoon.

Pyar Mein Log Zinda Dafnaye Jatein Hein,
Pyar Mein Log Zinda Dafnaye Jatein Hein,
Kabar khood Ke Dekhon Intezaar Mein Paaye Jatein Hein.

Kitne Log They Tumhare Janaze Ke Peeche,
Ek Mein Nahin Tha Tere Janaze Ke Peeche,
Mein Hota Bhi Kaise Tere Janaze Ke Peeche,
Jo Mera Janazaa Ja raha tha Tere Janaze Ke Peeche.

Tujhe Kisi Aur Ke Dil Mein Dekh,
Mein Khuda Se Karne Gaya Fariyad,
Kya Karen, Kambakhat Khuda Bhi
Tumhara Chaahane wala Nikla.

Har Waqt Ikrar Karne Par jawab Milta Hein Nahin
Har Waqt Ikrar Karne Par jawab Milta Hein Nahin
Itne Zulm Seh Chuke Hoon, Unme Ek Zulm Aur Sahi.

Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain....
JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE !!!

Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai
Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai
Ke kyon kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai??

Dharti so rahi hai, Aasman so raha hai
Dharti so rahi hai, Aasman so raha hai
Nonsense! yeh sab kya ho raha hai?

Aasmaan mein ud raha hai kabootar
Aasmaan mein ud raha hai kabootar
Flutter Flutter, Flutter Flutter.....

Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe peeta
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe peeta
Tan ki shakti, manki shakti, Bournvita!!!

Main hu yahan, tu hai wahan
Main hu yahan, tu hai wahan
Lifebuoy hai jahan, tandurusti hai wahan!

Now let's move onto some serious stuff :

Kabhi Khud Pe Kabhi Halaat Pe Rona Aaya.
Baat nikli to Har Ek Baat Pe Rona Aaya.
Hum To Samjhe The Ke Hum Bhool Gaye Hain Unko.
Kya hua aaj yeh Kis Baat Pe Rona Aaya.
(Poet: Sahir Ludhianvi)

Kaun Kehta Hai Mohabbat Ki Zuban Hoti Hai.
Yeh Haqeeqat To Nigahon Se Bayaan Hoti Hai.
Woh Na Aaye To Satati Hai Khalish Si Dilko.
Woh Jo Aaye To Khalish Aur Jawan Hoti Hai.
(Poet: Sahir Hoshiarpuri)

Tune Yeh Phool Jo Zulfon Mein Saja Rakha Hai.
Ik Diya Hai Jo Andheron Mein Jala Rakha Hai.
(Poet: Qateel Shifai)

Mujh Se Mera Kya Rishta Hai Har Ik Rishta Bhool Gaya.
Itne Aaine Dekhe Hain Apna Chehra Bhool Gaya.
(Poet: Mumtaz Raashid)

Gham-e-Hayaat Ka Jhagda Mita Raha Hai Koi.
Chale Bhi Aao Ke Duniya Se ja Raha Hai Koi.
Kaho Ajal Se Zara Do Ghadi Thahar Jaye,
Suna Hai Aane Ka Wada Nibha Raha Hai Koi.
(Poet: Sardar Anjuman)

Sarakti Jaye Hai Rukh Se Naqab Aahista Aahista.
Nikalta Aarah Hai Aaftaab Aahista Aahista.
(Poet: Ameer Minai)

Yeh To Nahin Ke Gham Nahi. Haan Meri Aankh Nam Nahi.
Tum Bhi To Tum Nahi Ho Aaj. Hum Bhi To Aaj Hum Nahi.
(Poet: Firaq Gorakhpuri)





Bruce Lee

What is Bruce Lee's favorite vegetable?
Mu Lee
Bruce Lee's favorite breakfast?
Id Lee
What does Bruce Lee like to have for lunch?
Tha Lee
What happens to the theater once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
Kha lee
What does Bruce Lee call his sister-in-law?
Saa Lee
Bruce Lee's favourite festival?
Diwa Lee
Bruce Lee's favourite Actress?
Sona lee
Bruce Lee's favourite Music?
Kawa lee
What is Bruce Lee's most interesting job?
Coo Lee
What did people say when Bruce lee died
Final Lee
How did Bruce Lee die?
With a Go Lee
What is Bruce Lee's favourite hill station?
Kulu Manna Lee
This message was originally written by a Malaya Lee





Do you know Bubba?

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is To know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. " So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch! "
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba.
"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"





Evolution of the English language .....

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z", and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!
And zen ve vil take over ze VORLD!!!




Insults in the Courtroom

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge, "Does this mean that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.

"Does this mean I cannot call a pig, 'Mrs. Johnson'?" the man asked.

The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig 'Mrs. Johnson' with no fear of legal action.

The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."



Nawaz Sharif comes to Delhi

Nawaz Sharif comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee. After dinner, Vajpayee says to Nawaz Sharif; "Well Nawaz, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant.

"How do you know?" asks Nawaz Sharif

"Oh well, it's simple", says Atal. " They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second". He calls Advani over and says to him. "Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

"Ah, that's simple", says Advani, "It is me!"

"Well done Advani", says Vajpayee and Nawaz Sharif is very impressed.

He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the Members of his Cabinet. He calls in his favourite member of cabinet and asks "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister? "

He thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. Can I think about it a bit further Nawaz ? May I let you know tomorrow?

"Of course", says Nawaz Sharif , "you've got 24 hours."

He goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his Cabinet Secretary, Chief Secretaries and Joint Secretaries, but no-one knows the answer. Twenty hours later, the member of Nawaz's cabinet is very worried still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually he says "I'll ask Benazer, she's clever, she'll know the answer."

He calls Benazir. "Benazir", he says, "tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

"Very simple", says Benazir, "it's me!"

"Of course" says the Cabinet member and rings Nawaz Sharif.

"Nawaz", says he, "I've got the answer it's Benazir Bhutto".

"No, you idiot", says Nawaz Sharif, "it's Advani"



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  #3  
Old September 3rd, 2002, 03:45 PM
MuslimReporter MuslimReporter is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Pydhonie
Posts: 14
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Talking More To Come Hang On There Buddy

Q. What do you do if you see a drowning Muslim ?
A. Throw him an anchor.

Q. How do you save a drowning Muslim ?
A. Take your foot of his head.

Q. What do you call an Muslim with half a brain ?
A. Gifted.

Q. Do you know how to save a drowning Muslim ?
A.. No ?!?
Good!

Q: Two Muslims jump off the top of a very tall building. Which one his the ground first?

A. Who gives a ****?


Q: How long does it take Muslims to take a shit?

A: 9 months.

Q:How does a Muslim woman fight crime?
A: She has an abortion.

How do you get 12 Muslims in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check.

How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.

what do AIDS and Islam have in common?

They are both the fastest growing disease




An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls is out of the sand, and discovers that he has a Manischevitz wine bottle. It appears that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrews the top and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. This genie appears to be a Chasidic rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc. "Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes." "I'm not going to trust you," says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!" "What do you have to lose? It looks like you're a goner anyway!" The Arab thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink."
***POOF***
The Arab finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. "OK, kid, what's your second wish." "My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."
**POOF***
The Arab finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems. OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!" After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says: "I wish I were WHITE and surrounded by beautiful women."
***POOF***
The Arab is turned into a Tampax. The moral of the story is: If an Arab does business with a Jewish genie, there's going to be a string attached.



A white man walks into a pub in Oldham, totally shattered, screaming “All Muslims are sh*theads". A man sitting in the corner shouts, “I take serious offense to that ! It's a bl**dy lie !” The white guy asks, “Why? Are you a Muslim?” He replies proudly, “No. I'm a sh*thead.”


There are three Arabic guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount
of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent.
After awhile one of the first two turns to the third and says,
"What about you, what sort of control do you have over your
wife?" "Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and
knees."
His friends were amazed! "What happened then?" "She then said,
'GET OUT FROM UNDER THE BED AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!'


An American ,a Arab, and an Israeli are on the roof of a
building the American takes a drink of his vodka and throws it
off, the Arab asks why he did that he said there’s too much of
that in our country. the Arab takes of his turban
and throws it over the building. the Israeli asks why he did
that he said theres too much of that in our country. the
Israeli takes a drink of his Budweiser and walks over to the
Arab and throws him of the building .the American asks why he
did that he said theres too much of them in our country


Islam=Peace just like Ebola=Health
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Only News

Doesnt My Id Say It All?
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  #4  
Old September 3rd, 2002, 03:57 PM
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Dhurandhar Bhat Dhurandhar Bhat is offline
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I have a feeling someone's gonna get a Kick...

hey nun.."what can I do you for"??
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Old September 3rd, 2002, 04:52 PM
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Dhurandhar Bhat Dhurandhar Bhat is offline
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this is mundane humour ...as of tuesday.......
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To get some of those Monday blues away Sane Less Friday Special 26 March 20th, 2006 07:10 PM
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