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  #76  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:03 PM
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by worried View Post
Some reply here say to tell my parents I dont want to marry. I need to give proper reason why. .
Thats odd . You dont want to marry and you dont have a reason . I cannot believe that . Are you just having cold feet? That is natural always .

And regarding your Dad being strict .Come on you are 28 . You are old enough to think for yourself . You have been working for 3 years . You are independent . Its good to respect your Dad but you need to understand that its your life . You are the one who will be living with your wife not your Dad. Unless you have also decided that you will behave with your wife exactly how your Dad asks you to behave ? Is that so?
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  #77  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:05 PM
ashdoc ashdoc is offline
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sane Less View Post
Sorry if I have touched a nerve here. But you are just an ID... please leave your emotions behind when you log on. In the quote above I was just referring to elderly unmarried people... did not mean anyone specific... just that your name was there right above.

If you still think I did something wrong let me know and I will say sorry.
at 36 , i dont think i am that elderly-- ok !!
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  #78  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:05 PM
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

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Originally Posted by ashdoc View Post
at 36 , i dont think i am that elderly-- ok !!
I very much concur . hehe
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  #79  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:07 PM
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashdoc View Post
at 36 , i dont think i am that elderly-- ok !!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chandni View Post
I very much concur . hehe
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Originally Posted by ashdoc View Post
saneless , would you mind keeping me out of this discussion ??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sane Less View Post
Sorry if I have touched a nerve here. But you are just an ID... please leave your emotions behind when you log on. In the quote above I was just referring to elderly unmarried people... did not mean anyone specific... just that your name was there right above.

If you still think I did something wrong let me know and I will say sorry.

Folks, can we not derail this thread? Please ...
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  #80  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:08 PM
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by worried View Post
Can you give me good reason to push marriage ahead for some time? My friends cannot think of any good reason. They think my father will not accept any reason. I want good reason to make him understand.

Can you only say this ? "I am an adult now and I will get married when I am ready ." Simple and straight . What will your father do? You can either speculate and worry or know for sure his reaction . Its all about sticking your ground and the other people knowing about it .

If you cannot even stand up to this then you better worry since your marraige will be on the rocks from day 1 .
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  #81  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted by worried View Post
You are saying that I must do marriage as my father say. I will have to but I dont want to now. I want to have my good life.

I can tell you what enjoyment I am having. I come from middle class family living in middle class area in Mumbai. Father is now retired from service. Mother is also retired. She took VRS long ago. My elder sister is marry and settled.

Before I started job, I was only doing college and study. Now only from 3 years I am free to not study. So on Sunday I am free to go for dinner after movie. My college friends also have good job. So we can spend money for enjoyment. Life is going very normal now. I dont know why to complicate with marry.

Father wants to get me marry to girl from same caste. I am okay because she will know our habits and culture. I see pictures and sometime want to have love story wedding but there is no girl in contact with me for such thing to happen.

Can you give me good reason to push marriage ahead for some time? My friends cannot think of any good reason. They think my father will not accept any reason. I want good reason to make him understand.

If you search our archives you will find what we all have had to say about marriage and wedding ceremonies.

Basically its the entire family who wants to have a gala time under pretext of a grand wedding. Offcourse your parents want you to be happy but usually in our desi family culture, the parents and then immediate relatives want you to get married to so and so.

You have a sister. Why not talk to her. Tell her you are not ready yet.

But you better have a good reason to justify the delay. Your parents are raising this topic now because they might be feeling that today you are going for movies and eating out, tomorrow you might go for whores as you are a young man now who has no girlfriends.

So come up with something strong to tell your father. Something like 'I cannot marry because I want to enjoy some more.' Or 'I want to get that promotion first, then I will marry' or simply 'I am bi-curious because I saw a movie about Harvey Milk'
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  #82  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:13 PM
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Welcome WorriedAnna

I would advice you not to listen to these married folks,they are jealous of people enjoying freedom,and females get their freedom after marriage so their advice would always be to get married.


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Originally Posted by worried View Post
I found this forum searching for something. Stayed as visitor for one week. Now became member.

I need help. I dont want money help but some experience help.
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  #83  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:13 PM
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Get married worried ... Trust me you will like it .... Auntie je n uncle ji bhi khush ho jayein gey. 2 saal main ab time hi kitna hai?
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  #84  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:17 PM
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Post Re: Found this forum, I need help.

My sister was arrange marriage. She married to her husband who father mother showed her. She was register in vivah mandal. 4, 5 boys came to see her. Father liked 1 proposal and she was marry to that proposal. Good family. Husband has own flat in Dahisar. He is having good job. My sister is also working in good job.

My parents are thinking of same thing for me to marry girl who has good job. My mother already put my name in same vivah madal. I know why they are forcing me because they must have got some proposal from mandal.

One time I argue with my mother. She said we are middle class people and should have stable life. Marry at right time is necessary for future. I dont know if I want to love marriage because there is no girl friend. I cannot tell any office girl for friendship like that. Only 1 girl is same language as ours.
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  #85  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:21 PM
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Looks like you only want to worry without taking any concrete steps towards reducing that worry and taking control . No wonder you are conveniently ignoring specific solutions given to you .

You are on your own buddy . Take control of your life is all the advice I will give now . Rest is up to you . Good Luck . hopefully your wife is as subdued as you are . Atleast there will be peace in the family .
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  #86  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:23 PM
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by worried View Post
My sister was arrange marriage. She married to her husband who father mother showed her. She was register in vivah mandal. 4, 5 boys came to see her. Father liked 1 proposal and she was marry to that proposal. Good family. Husband has own flat in Dahisar. He is having good job. My sister is also working in good job.

My parents are thinking of same thing for me to marry girl who has good job. My mother already put my name in same vivah madal. I know why they are forcing me because they must have got some proposal from mandal.

One time I argue with my mother. She said we are middle class people and should have stable life. Marry at right time is necessary for future. I dont know if I want to love marriage because there is no girl friend. I cannot tell any office girl for friendship like that. Only 1 girl is same language as ours.
Love marriage is not everyone's cup of tea...the fact that you are asking these questions here implies that you need to be "given" a pussy....you can't get one yourself. All mothers know their kids.

Listen to your mother get married NOW
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  #87  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:29 PM
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Post Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dhurandhar View Post
Love marriage is not everyone's cup of tea...the fact that you are asking these questions here implies that you need to be "given" a pussy....you can't get one yourself. All mothers know their kids.

Listen to your mother get married NOW
You are maybe living in foreign country. In India it is not simple to get girl easily.

I am not rich not poor. Girls want stable boy with good job. I have that but there is no one I can get for girlfriend.

Mother wants to get vivah mandal proposal. This time I will go to see girl like the boy used to come to see my sister. What I will do? What I will ask girl? I am not ready for marry but I cannot tell openly to girl. What she will tell her family? It will all be mess.

I like suggestion of promotion in office to tell my father. I will try that.
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  #88  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:30 PM
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by worried View Post
My sister was arrange marriage. She married to her husband who father mother showed her. She was register in vivah mandal. 4, 5 boys came to see her. Father liked 1 proposal and she was marry to that proposal. Good family. Husband has own flat in Dahisar. He is having good job. My sister is also working in good job.

My parents are thinking of same thing for me to marry girl who has good job. My mother already put my name in same vivah madal. I know why they are forcing me because they must have got some proposal from mandal.

One time I argue with my mother. She said we are middle class people and should have stable life. Marry at right time is necessary for future. I dont know if I want to love marriage because there is no girl friend. I cannot tell any office girl for friendship like that. Only 1 girl is same language as ours.
First of all there is absolutely nothing wrong in getting an arranged marriage. Secondly, maybe you do want to get married but would like to know the girl before well. I am assuming this is the case because you are saying you dont mind having a girl friend. These days many people get to know th other person before getting married. I am sure in your case also your parents will let you get to know each other.
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  #89  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:35 PM
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Post Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakhi View Post
First of all there is absolutely nothing wrong in getting an arranged marriage. Secondly, maybe you do want to get married but would like to know the girl before well. I am assuming this is the case because you are saying you dont mind having a girl friend. These days many people get to know th other person before getting married. I am sure in your case also your parents will let you get to know each other.
My sister was engage and then after 3 months got marry. Jijai and sister were visiting each other for 3 months. I talked to sister about my marriage. She is only laughing at me. She says to say yes to a good girl. She say she will help in selection.

How she will know my selection? I dont know what to ask girl for marriage. I dont know what she will ask. I dont know how she will like me. All this is too much tension for me.

I will wait for some final help from all of you. Will get up in morning to check answer.
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  #90  
Old May 18th, 2011, 01:37 PM
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Re: Found this forum, I need help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakhi View Post
First of all there is absolutely nothing wrong in getting an arranged marriage. Secondly, maybe you do want to get married but would like to know the girl before well. I am assuming this is the case because you are saying you dont mind having a girl friend. These days many people get to know th other person before getting married. I am sure in your case also your parents will let you get to know each other.
Do not waste your time with him Rakhi . He is going to do whatever his father will say . He is a wimp . Pretty annoyed
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