Which things annoy you the most, while living in India ??

[Jagmohan]

Well,.... India is an amazing country,
and besides the most obvious nuisances and annoyances such as "human-worshipping, yessmanship, ( vyakti-pooja ) Godfather-ships, Pollution, Population and Corruption at every walk of life,. it has never failed to cease to annoy us in tons of other various ways, and if you had seen recent taunting movie like PK and Oh MY God, they had even tried to cover few points in terms of an alien's vision, and/or suing the GOD legally in our courts, in front of the judge !

Perhaps that's what we call India Shining !

Here are few collected from here and there and in a satirical sense, but still they all are true to the core and right on the money !

What are some interesting one liners on India?

Where liking a facebook post gets you arrested, while raping does not.

"India is running the software of tomorrow on the hardware of yesterday."

India: Here people wear helmets to save their pockets, not life.

A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!!

Marriages (Rest of the world) = x + y
Marriages (In India) = xdx + ydy

In India, even exceptions run into millions

A country where on the streets, everyone seems to be in a hurry but no one is ever on time.

The only country where people fight to be termed 'backward'

Being one in a million in India means that there are 1241 Indians just like you

In India, where the relatives are more interested in your grades than you.

In India, we populate the cities first and then plan them.

In India people do not cast their vote but vote for the caste.

The frustrating thing about India is that whatever you can say rightly about India, the opposite is also true.

In India, there are two types of roads : 1 Under Construction 2 Under Repair

IRCTC-> The only place where you won't find reservations"

A Tantra Shirt reads "Come to India, a billion people can't be wrong"

IITs - Helping nerds get married since 1951.

China grows because of its government, India grows despite it.

An incredible country where Actors are playing cricket, Cricketers are playing politics, Politicians are watching po*n and po*n stars are becoming actors.

If someone asks for a Dirty Cloth to clean something, you are in India

n USA when couples go to bed they say, "Good Night! My Love."
In UK, they say, "Sweet Dreams! Darling."
In India it is generally said,"Kundi laga di? (have you bolted the door?)"

In India, You throw a stone, you hit a dog, or a software engineer."

"There is poverty in India, but India is not poor." - S. Gurumurthy

The funny thing is that in a land of more than a billion people, the topic of sex is still taboo

" Speech is silver, silence is golden " - Manmohan Singh

In the West people have sex and hope for a marriage. In India people marry and hope for sex.
__________________


00. India -the country where pizza delivery is faster than Ambulance..

0. India- the country where car loan - 7% and education loan-12%...

1. India- the country where Olympic shooter is given 1 crore while MARTYR army shooters are given only one lakh ..

2. India- the country where 1984 riot's ''leaders'' are given securities while American flags are down halfway because of RACISM attacks in OAK CEEK GURUDWARA ...

3. where rice is Rs 90/kg bt simcard is alomoxt free

4. where shoes are sold in A.C showrtooms but vegetables which we eat are sold on FOOTPATHS

5. where lemon juices are made up of artificial flavours and dish washing liquids wid real lemon

6. where our leading classes have fake degrees and educated are jobless...

And the last one is,..

India hi ek aisa desh hai,..
jahaan,... haladi, chont khaane se pahele lagaayi jaati hai !


In the west, people have freedom to kiss in public but not piss.
In India, people have freedom to piss in public but not kiss.

In West, they also park on the driveways and drive on the parkways !

The other diff. between the East and the West is,... at a public parks,..

E : They meet the woman in the park.
W : They park their meat in the women.

Welding : It occurs the spark first, and then the permanent bonds forever !
Wedding: It occurs the permanent bonds first, and then the sparks forever !

[Jagmohan]

Copied from FB

1) We'd rather spend more on daughters wedding than on her education.

2) We live in a country where seeing a policeman makes us nervous rather than feeling safe
3) In IAS exam, a person writes a brilliant 1500 words essay about how Dowry is a social evil. Impresses everyone and cracks the exam.
One year later same person demands a dowry of 1 crore, because he is an IAS officer.
4) Indians are very shy and still are 121 Crore.
5) Indians are obsessed with screen guards on their smartphones even though most come with scratch proof Gorilla Glass but never bother wearing a helmet while riding their bikes.
6) Indian Society teaches
'Not to Get Raped', rather 'Don't Rape' !
7) Reserved people get more benefit than deserve people...!
8) The worst movies earn the most
9) A porn-star is accepted in society as a celebrity, but a rape victim is not even accepted as a normal human being.
10) Politicians Divide us, Terrorists Unite us
11) Everyone is in a hurry, but no one reaches on time
11) Priyanka Chopra earned more money playing Mary Kom, than Mary Kom earned in her entire career.
12) Its dangerous to talk to strangers, but it's perfectly ok to marry one
13) Most people who fight over Gita and Quran, have probably never read any of them
14)The shoes we wear are sold in air Conditioned showrooms, the vegetables we eat are sold on the footpath..