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  #1  
Old February 19th, 2002, 08:27 AM
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Heres a new way to deal with ....

I was out grocery shopping this past weekend. As I was strolling down the aisles of our neighbourhood Kroger, I saw 3 desis (one couple and another guy) talking. Since I dont usually see many desis at that store, I smiled and went on.

About 5 minutes later, as I was squeezing a grapefruit or two, the guy I had just seen walks up to me and holds out his hand, saying "Hi, I'm Anil". So I shake his hand and say "Hello Anil". And then he says "You know, I have seen you somewhere. I cant remember where, but I have seen you before."

So I say "Hmmm, I dont remember seeing you" and start to wind down the conversation and go back to the grapefruits. But the guy is persistent. "I have definitely seen you before. Do you go to the Indian Association functions". By now the tubelight in my brain has clicked on and is emanating light at five thousand Lumens.

So I say "I know where you must have seen me. My picture was in the newspapers and local TV news a few months back. Could that have been where you saw me?"

And he goes "Thats it. Now I remember. Yes yes. That was some story." Besharam saala. "By the way, what was that story again?"

So I say, with as straight a face as I can keep "Oh nothing. I was arrested. I shot a guy who tried to sign me up for Amway or Quixtar or something like that. But I was acquited".

So he goes "Really? Well .. what .. really?". He is pretty upset at this point. My straight face is also history. I am laughing my ass off. Then he gets into a tirade (the usual spiel) "If you dont want to make money blah blah blah ... I dont need you blah blah .. I will be rich blah blah .. huge mansion .. early retirement" etc. You get my drift.

At this awkward juncture, with me laughing and this guy suffering an apoplexy, the Kroger store manager walks by. I call him over. I ask him what his policies are about solicitations in their store, and he replies that solicitation is prohibited. Then I turn to the aforementioned apoplectic, who now has the look of a guy who wants to melt into the scenery, and tell the manager " Well, this guy is soliciting your customers here, trying to sign them up for some scam."

The manager asks the guy "Is this true, Sir? Our store policies on this are very clear. If this is true, I request that you stop soliciting."

The guy answers "No, no, not true at all. I was just trying to be friendly. This guy misunderstood me. He is making this up." Phateeeeee.

So I say "Maybe I did misunderstand. Maybe we should ask that couple over there (pointing at the couple he was talking to when I saw them earlier)."

So the guy says "Never mind. We'll talk later" and hightails it out of there. After a couple of minutes with the manager (and making comments like "inconvenience to YOUR customers" etc), I, too left the store, high fiving myself.
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Old February 19th, 2002, 08:46 AM
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  #3  
Old February 19th, 2002, 08:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by chuttar
smelly would u have done exactly the same thing if the guy was non-desi? or is it that u feel so bold only in front of other desis and become a meek pussycat when talking to non-desis?
Wont know till I experience it. But I dont see why my reaction would be any different.
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Old February 19th, 2002, 08:58 AM
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Re: Heres a new way to deal with ....

Quote:
Originally posted by smellyfinger
as I was squeezing a grapefruit or two

Can't wait to get home eh!! you pervert!! and why a grapefruit.. WHY I ASK!!!
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  #5  
Old February 19th, 2002, 09:00 AM
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Talking

fruit and vegetable fetish
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sometimes I sit and look at life from a different angle,dunno if I m God's child or Satan's angel
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  #6  
Old February 19th, 2002, 09:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by chuttar
smelly would u have done exactly the same thing if the guy was non-desi? or is it that u feel so bold only in front of other desis and become a meek pussycat when talking to non-desis?
I dont complain because the guys are desi, If a non-desi happens to come and sell me something. I would surly complain.

Same thing happened to us. When he asked the phone number.. You know what he is upto. So i gave this number

216-3825-633

incase you did not get this number.. its 216-FU(K-OFF

the fun is that .. i told him.. if he wants to remember the number.. it is 216-FU(K-OFF.. all this with a serious face...

Last edited by BlrBoy; February 19th, 2002 at 09:46 AM.
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  #7  
Old February 19th, 2002, 09:28 AM
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Smelly ... wish i was there to see the whole thing. Better yet, capture it on camcorder btw.. what do you do to tele-marketers? Any interesting incidents?
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  #8  
Old February 19th, 2002, 10:17 AM
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You lucky man smelly......

so far in 3 years in London - I havent come across a single amway guy or any other marketeers..... i hope i come across some one............ phir aayega mazaaaaa
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  #9  
Old February 19th, 2002, 10:21 AM
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nydood - there is an interesting incident on GM

Calling Jackasses On The Phone - http://www.gandmasti.com/forum/showt...one+and+street
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  #10  
Old February 19th, 2002, 10:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by nydood
Smelly ... wish i was there to see the whole thing. Better yet, capture it on camcorder btw.. what do you do to tele-marketers? Any interesting incidents?
I have tried the old Seinfeld method .. When they call , ask them for their home and phone number saying you are busy at that moment and will call back. Of course they refuse to give you their number. Then you say, its ok for YOU to call me at home, but not vice versa ? And hang up.

But they got smart to that. They usually disconnect when you ask them that.

Nowadays, I simply hang up.

Check out this hilarious CNP from GM.

One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is
to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from
a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating
as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this:

(swallowing)

Me: Hello
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
Me: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
Me: OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that,
surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to
my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

Me: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
Me: May I ask who is calling please?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?
Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: The phone company?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
Me: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.
Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling.
When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express
yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this
lady was persistent.

AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute but
she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time to
whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir
that's right! 24 hours a day!
Me: 7 days a week?
AT&T: That's right.
Me: 365 days a year?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
Me: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at
the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check,
can I get a cash advance?

{{{pause}}}

AT&T: Excuse me?
Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and
$52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making
payment.

AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a
minute.
Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute.
Are you sure this is AT&T?
AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......
Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10
cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of
subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the
Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me.

AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....
Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.
Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
AT&T: What?
Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold. So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper
is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After
a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:

Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
Me: Yeth?
Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a
minute program.
Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?
Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.

I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to
suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I
could sign up for the plan.
Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was
helping you.
Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I needed to end
this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at
the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up
for our plan?
Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have
enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little
brother...

AT&T: (click)
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  #11  
Old February 19th, 2002, 10:55 AM
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another one

Long Distance Carrier's telemarketer (TM)

TM : Sir, I am calling from ....... Are you happy with your long distance carrier?

You: Most certainly not maam/sir.

TM (happily) : And why is that sir?

You: They all expect me to pay their bill in time.

TM : Thank you for speaking with .... <click>
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  #12  
Old February 19th, 2002, 11:21 AM
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reality

I follow this method:

TM : Sir, I am calling from ....... (and describes the company and the product)

Me: Thank you, but I am not interested.
/* slam the phone down */



EOS.
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  #13  
Old February 19th, 2002, 11:24 AM
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I pick up..

Hello sir I am calling from...

click.

Simple.
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  #14  
Old February 19th, 2002, 11:27 AM
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I prefer talking to them questioning them all iwanna do show a lot of interest then say um not interested!
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  #15  
Old February 19th, 2002, 11:28 AM
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"Unavailable" in the caller id.. I dont pick up..
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