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Friday Special Tickle your funny bone...

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  #61  
Old February 18th, 2014, 11:52 AM
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Re: Joke for Today!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kalidas View Post
15. Kejriwal is so honest that he admits when he farts
This one is the best.. height of honesty
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  #62  
Old February 18th, 2014, 02:10 PM
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Re: Joke for Today!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GpeL View Post
kuch bhi??? go watch that song.. jute de do paise le lo.. that salman madhur thingy.. hum aap ke hain kaun or something like that. I thunk that didi tera devar diwana is in that one.



On a hindsight, wife's brother's son can also do " Joota choriing "

For that, watch the last episodes of Comedy nights with Kapil - about Buva ki shaadi.

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  #63  
Old February 18th, 2014, 02:34 PM
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Re: Joke for Today!

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Originally Posted by kalidas View Post
Point taken.... I will notify the original joke artist to make necessary modifications.
kejriwal is sooo honest he does not post forwarded jokes in ec'c forwarded jokes thread without giving due credit.
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  #64  
Old February 19th, 2014, 09:57 AM
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Re: Joke for Today!

Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he clicked on 'I'm below 18 years' on porn websites when he was a kid.

Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he seeks his wife's permission to keep extra marital affairs.

Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that whenever Madhuri asked 'Choli ke pechhe kya hai', he used to give the real answer.

Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he likes Shakira's hips because they dont lie.

Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that if he misses the red-light by mistake, he takes a U-turn to stop before the red light.

Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when he clicks 'Remind me later' on a windows update, he makes sure he updates it the next time.

Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that courts of india are deciding to replace Geeta with a picture of him to take oath of honesty.

Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he never cleared the browser history.

Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he bought a Winrar license.
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  #65  
Old February 19th, 2014, 12:20 PM
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Re: Joke for Today!

Frustrated professional life

Boss: Kaha gaye the?

Employee: Baal katwane

Boss: Office hours mein?

Employee: Baal badhe bhi toh office hours me hee hai ...

Boss: Ghar me bhi toh badhte hai

Employee: Ganja ho kar toh nahi aaya hu ... jitne office mein badhe the utne hee katwaye hain!
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  #66  
Old February 20th, 2014, 10:40 AM
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Re: Joke for Today!

Racism!

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.

In London, a customer asked,"Do you have "Sarso Da Tel?"

The shopkeeper says "are you a "Sardar"?

The guy, clearly offended, says,"Yes I am...But let me ask you something.
If I had asked for Olive Oil, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?

The shopkeeper says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Sarso Da Tel, why did you ask if I am a Sardar?"

The shopkeeper replied,
Because, you are in a "wine shop"..😝😜😛
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  #67  
Old February 20th, 2014, 12:37 PM
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Re: Joke for Today!

Wife: I hate that beggar; dont give him anything at all...

Husband: why???

Wife: Rascal, yesterday I gave him food and today he gave me a book
"How to cook!!!"
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  #68  
Old March 19th, 2014, 03:34 PM
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Re: Joke for Today!

Why does Shahrukh Khan drink himself to death in devdas?
Answer- Because ... Any self respecting man would do so if two women danced around him singing "dildo la re, dildo la re"...
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  #69  
Old March 28th, 2014, 12:04 PM
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Re: Joke for Today!

Chor aya , Tijori par likha tha
"Todne ki zaroorat nahi button dabao, khul jayegi"

Button dabate hi Police aa gayi.

Police : Tumko kuch apni safai me kehna hai ?


Chor : Maa kasam aaj insaniyat se vishwas uth gaya..����

---------------------------

Ravan ko court me laya gaya aur kaha :- Gita pe hath rakho.

Ravan bola :- Sala Sita pe hath rakha to itna matter hua. Ab Gita pe.

SORRY BOSS I'M NOT INTERESTED������
������
Doctor: Aapki Biwi ab sirf do dino ki mehman hai. I'm so sorry...
Santa: Isme sorry ki kya baat hai Dr. Saab. Nikaal lenge ye do din bhi jaise-taise...����������
-------------------------
��Ek Sardarni behosh ho gayi...
Doctor: Yeh mar gayi hai..
Jab usko jalane lage to woh uth baithi aur boli mein zinda hoon...!!
Sardar: Chupchap padi reh gawar, tu Doctor se zyada jaanti hai kya?
Jalao ji Jalao..����������.
------------------------
Santa: Agar operation ke dauran mujhe kuch ho jaye to usi doctor se shaadi kar lena...
Biwi: Aisa Q kehte ho ji?
Santa: To kya doctor ko maaf kar doon?? ☺☺☺☺☺☺
------------------------
��Sardar ne apni sagaai tod di...
Kyonki,
Ladki kunwari thi...
Sardar bola: Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui, wo meri kya hogi...����������
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  #70  
Old March 28th, 2014, 01:39 PM
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Re: Joke for Today!

Quote:
Originally Posted by motowner View Post
Chor aya , Tijori par likha tha
"Todne ki zaroorat nahi button dabao, khul jayegi"

Button dabate hi Police aa gayi.

Police : Tumko kuch apni safai me kehna hai ?


Chor : Maa kasam aaj insaniyat se vishwas uth gaya..����

---------------------------

Ravan ko court me laya gaya aur kaha :- Gita pe hath rakho.

Ravan bola :- Sala Sita pe hath rakha to itna matter hua. Ab Gita pe.

SORRY BOSS I'M NOT INTERESTED������
������
Doctor: Aapki Biwi ab sirf do dino ki mehman hai. I'm so sorry...
Santa: Isme sorry ki kya baat hai Dr. Saab. Nikaal lenge ye do din bhi jaise-taise...����������
-------------------------
��Ek Sardarni behosh ho gayi...
Doctor: Yeh mar gayi hai..
Jab usko jalane lage to woh uth baithi aur boli mein zinda hoon...!!
Sardar: Chupchap padi reh gawar, tu Doctor se zyada jaanti hai kya?
Jalao ji Jalao..����������.
------------------------
Santa: Agar operation ke dauran mujhe kuch ho jaye to usi doctor se shaadi kar lena...
Biwi: Aisa Q kehte ho ji?
Santa: To kya doctor ko maaf kar doon?? ☺☺☺☺☺☺
------------------------
��Sardar ne apni sagaai tod di...
Kyonki,
Ladki kunwari thi...
Sardar bola: Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui, wo meri kya hogi...����������

Good ones. Here's one from me

Lady walking on road, talking on the phone with her left boob open.

Policeman: Ye kya hai??
Lady: Ya allah!! Munna toh bus mein hi reh gaya!!
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  #71  
Old March 31st, 2014, 10:35 AM
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Re: Joke for Today!

based on a real story..

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  #72  
Old April 14th, 2014, 12:45 PM
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Re: Joke for Today!

Man: Is there any medicine for long life?

Doctor: Get married

Man: Will it help?

Doc: No, but you will avoid such thoughts.
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  #73  
Old April 25th, 2014, 10:42 AM
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Re: Joke for Today!

What is the difference between Lust, Love and Marriage?

Lust means ... panty ko phadna...

Love means ... panty ko pyar se utarna...

Marriage means .. panty ko dhoke, sukhake, fold karke almari mein rakhna
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  #74  
Old May 31st, 2014, 07:38 AM
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Re: Joke for Today!

India mein shaanti Nobel puraskar ke liye Manmohan Singh ka naam bheja gaya toh udhar se jawab aaya, "hum shaanti ke liye puraskar dete hain, sannate ke liye nahin!"
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  #75  
Old June 3rd, 2014, 08:48 PM
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Re: Joke for Today!

इंसान की रूह काँप जाती है ।
मगर जालिमों के हाथ ना काँपें ।
दिनांक : 20 अप्रैल 2014
राजस्थान के अजमेर जिले में 4 साल
का मासूम
अभी सही तरह बोल
नहीं सकता था ........
वह हाथ जोड़ता रहा ,
उसकी
चीखों से आसमान लजा गया,
मगर
उसके सगे बाप और भाई ने उसकी एक
ना सुनी
और,उसे जबर्दस्ती.........
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
टकला कर दिया .......
गर्मी जो थी .........


गौर से पढ़ने के लिये शुक्रिया!....''

Last edited by sarv_shaktimaan; June 4th, 2014 at 09:24 AM.
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