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  #1  
Old November 13th, 2003, 01:20 AM
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Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

This is an actual extract from a sex education school textbook for girls, printed in the early 60's in the UK, & written by a woman!

"When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.

When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes."
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Old November 13th, 2003, 01:37 AM
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Question Re: Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

Quote:
Originally posted by Netra
This is an actual extract from a sex education school textbook for girls, printed in the early 60's in the UK, & written by a woman!
sounds like anti-women and pro-man write-up.
strange thing is ..this kind of concept is taught in a european nation , where all the "liberated women" live
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Old November 13th, 2003, 01:41 AM
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Re: Re: Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

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Originally posted by Indian
sounds like anti-women and pro-man write-up.
strange thing is ..this kind of concept is taught in a european nation , where all the "liberated women" live
Indianji, this was way back in the early 60s. Things have changed drastically since then at least in Northern Europe.
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Old November 13th, 2003, 01:56 AM
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Question Re: Re: Re: Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

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Originally posted by Netra
Indianji, this was way back in the early 60s. Things have changed drastically since then at least in Northern Europe.
in that case..can we conclude that
around 60s there isnt any difference among women's status irrespective of their nations. women in UK is same as women in india or Afghanistan, excpet their color ?
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Old November 13th, 2003, 02:25 AM
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so do u say women are not guided to do almost the same things ...by some other source ...say fnz or even parents(mother in particular).....i mean if not learnt from the textbook(n how many of us actually learnt the 'truth of life' from books....?) does it make a difference what the women actually do in her bed?
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Old November 13th, 2003, 02:27 AM
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Netra ji,
If i would not have read your initial line of introduction then surely I would have concluded taht this is being taught in some schools in Up or Bihar in India.
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Old November 13th, 2003, 03:10 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

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Originally posted by Indian
in that case..can we conclude that
around 60s there isnt any difference among women's status irrespective of their nations. women in UK is same as women in india or Afghanistan, excpet their color ?
Comparing them to the women under Taliban is not correct. Whereas the women under the Taliban had to cover their faces and had to be accompanied by a male relative, this was not true of European women or for that matter even Indian women.

I still feel that the Women in the 60s in the Western countries are better off than most women in India now, one of the reasons being that in Western countries even in 1960s the families were independent and therefore the problems of MIL and DIL were done away with.
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Old November 13th, 2003, 05:53 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

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Originally posted by Netra
I still feel that the Women in the 60s in the Western countries are better off than most women in India now, one of the reasons being that in Western countries even in 1960s the families were independent and therefore the problems of MIL and DIL were done away with.
Families being independent may be considered a positive development. I fully agree that it is ok to live separately if ones parents are not too old. But being independent doesn't mean that one should shun parents who are very old or who may need their children to take care of them. I consider it more of an act born out of selfishness. Why would so many old ppl. in france and spain have to die so wretchedly, orphaned by their own children?

Sorry to derail this thread a little, but I get a sense that here Netraji is implying that families are betteroff leaving the old guys to their peril.
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Old November 13th, 2003, 06:03 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

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Originally posted by 2gud
Families being independent may be considered a positive development. I fully agree that it is ok to live separately if ones parents are not too old. But being independent doesn't mean that one should shun parents who are very old or who may need their children to take care of them. I consider it more of an act born out of selfishness. Why would so many old ppl. in france and spain have to die so wretchedly, orphaned by their own children?

Sorry to derail this thread a little, but I get a sense that here Netraji is implying that families are betteroff leaving the old guys to their peril.
Nobody is talking about shunning one's parents. But if childless people can look after themselves, why can't people with children do so. If old people in Western countries can be independent and self-sufficient even at the age of 90, why are Indian parents so reliant upon their children. What makes me mad is that is the reason why people want boys in India is so that can be looked after in their old age.

Relations would be much better if parents tend to given independence to their children in spite of living with them. ie not interfering in how they bring up their own children, how they spend their time etc.

And what makes you think that old people in France and Portugal die wretchedly? They die with dignity. If they cannot look after themselves, they move to an old-age home.

And pray tell me who suffers the most in a joint family? It is always the daughter-in-law who is always considered an outsider. Would you as a man approve of living with your wife's parents?

And talking about old people here, do you know what one old woman was telling me? She said "Its horrible when your children move out, but its even more horrible if they come back". That's the way these people are made. They WANT their children to go out of the house once they are standing on their own legs (or feet?).
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Old November 13th, 2003, 06:14 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

Netraji, I think you haven't read the newspapers, magazines or at least see CNN in september. Thousand of old ppl. mainly in france and also spain died because of heat wave and more because there was no one to look after them. Nearly all of them died alone and were only to be found many days after they died because of complains of stench from neighbours.
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Old November 13th, 2003, 06:18 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

Quote:
Originally posted by 2gud
Netraji, I think you haven't read the newspapers, magazines or at least see CNN in september. Thousand of old ppl. mainly in france and also spain died because of heat wave and more because there was no one to look after them. Nearly all of them died alone and were only to be found many days after they died because of complains of stench from neighbours.
That was really sad. That is another extreme. But if you see the proportion it was 1000 out of how many?

How many were married with children?

I would say best is to live independently but be of help to another in time of need.
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Old November 13th, 2003, 06:20 AM
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In India too I know of many cases where children have made their parents write everything in their name and then abandoned them.
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Old November 13th, 2003, 06:37 AM
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In India too I know of many cases where children have made their parents write everything in their name and then abandoned them.
That is not a good precedent for even those who do such things. No one wants to die alone, with the dear ones not around, at least not me even if sometimes I want to live alone.

OK let us forget this thing and get back to what Netraji has started - your perceptions on "Woman's duties towards her husband"
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Old November 13th, 2003, 08:01 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

Quote:
Originally posted by Netra

And pray tell me who suffers the most in a joint family? It is always the daughter-in-law who is always considered an outsider. Would you as a man approve of living with your wife's parents?
Why not?! In fact, my wife's parents have two daughters. I will be quite happy if ever they want to move with us. And my wife liked it a lot when I agreed to spend some days of our leisure at her parents home and the get together was great fun as her sister and her children were also there at that time.
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Old November 13th, 2003, 08:32 AM
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Smile Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Wife's duties toward her husband - How things have changed

Quote:
Originally posted by Netra
Comparing them to the women under Taliban is not correct. Whereas the women under the Taliban had to cover their faces and had to be accompanied by a male relative, this was not true of European women or for that matter even Indian women.

I still feel that the Women in the 60s in the Western countries are better off than most women in India now, one of the reasons being that in Western countries even in 1960s the families were independent and therefore the problems of MIL and DIL were done away with.
Taliban is only a recent phenomenon(say ..10 years back story). I was not comparing with women under taleban . I was only trying to stress my point that , women were treated same all over the world(wether it is afghan or UK..doesnt matter)

The thing u posted, if i assume it to be real and had been practiced in UK. it is only telling me that, around 60s women were trained to "serve men" in whatever way they could. As the concepts like "women's lib" were originated from Europe, obiviously i see a troubled women in Europe during 60s.

yaar..this is so conphuisng and straining my little brain
Meri baat kuch samajh mein aayi ?
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